237+ Bald Jokes (Jokes for Bald Guys to Roast Themselves)

Bald jokes, also known as bald guy jokes, are a type of humor that revolves around the theme of hair loss or baldness, often used in a self-deprecating way. (We do not condone the use of jokes to poke fun at another person’s appearance.)

These jokes typically poke fun at the lack of hair on one’s head, but can also touch on related topics such as aging, vanity, or insecurities.

While these jokes are intended to be lighthearted and funny, they may sometimes be perceived as insensitive or offensive, particularly to those who are bald or experiencing hair loss.

Some common characteristics of bald jokes include:

Exaggeration: Bald jokes often exaggerate the effects of baldness, such as making fun of the glare from a bald person’s head or comparing their head to a shiny surface like a bowling ball.
Wordplay and puns: These jokes may use clever wordplay or puns related to baldness, hair loss, or hair in general.
Age-related humor: Since hair loss is often associated with aging, bald jokes may also touch on age-related themes or stereotypes.
Self-deprecating humor: Some bald individuals may use self-deprecating humor to make light of their own hair loss, turning the joke on themselves as a way to cope or to make others feel more comfortable.
Stereotypes and assumptions: Bald jokes can sometimes rely on stereotypes or assumptions about bald people, such as the idea that they are less attractive, less virile, or less intelligent than those with a full head of hair.
Visual humor: Bald jokes may include visual elements, such as cartoons or memes featuring bald characters or images that emphasize the absence of hair.

It’s important to remember that humor is subjective, and what one person finds funny, another might find offensive.

It’s always a good idea to be aware of your audience and their sensitivities when sharing bald jokes or any other type of humor and to never direct them at any one person.

Table of Contents

Bald Jokes

Bald Jokes:

I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair.
Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a hare-piece!
I’m not balding, I’m just getting more head.
Baldness is hereditary. It’s passed down from your grandfather’s comb.
What do you call a balding Jedi? Obi-Wan Can’t-grow-hair-nobi!
What did the bald man say when he received a comb as a gift? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it.”
I used to have a full head of hair, but then it took a receding hairline to show me the error of my ways.
A bald man walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, “How about a hair of the dog?” The bald man replies, “I don’t think that will help.”
Why did the bald man get a job at a brewery? Because he wanted to make some barley hair!
What do you call a bald man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
I’m not balding, I’m just aerodynamic.
Why did the bald man go to the doctor? He was having a bad hair day.
I’m not balding, I’m just follically challenged.
What do you call a bald man who takes up gardening? Herb!
What do you call a bald man who works in a restaurant? Kitchen head!
I’m not balding, I’m just follically disadvantaged.
Why did the bald man buy a new carpet? He wanted a head rug.
I’m not balding, I’m just solar powered.
What do you call a bald man who’s always on the run? Flee-ce!
I’m not balding, I’m just hairline impaired.
Why did the bald man cross the road? To get away from the hair salon.
What do you call a bald man who’s always on time? A bald clock!
I’m not balding, I’m just embracing my inner monk.

Hair Lining Jokes

Hair Lining Jokes:

I used to have hair, but it all fell out of love with me.
I didn’t lose my hair, it just migrated to my back.
Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a head full of hare.
I asked my hairdresser for a comb-over, but he said I was already doing a great job on my own.
They say hair today, gone tomorrow. But for me, it was hair yesterday, gone today.
What do you call a bald man with a sheep on his head? A wig-wearer.
I’m not bald, I’m just aerodynamic.
Why did the bald man go outside? To get some fresh scalp.
My barber told me I was thinning on top, so I told him to thin out the sides too.
I may not have a lot of hair, but at least I have a head start on being bald.
What do you call a bald man with a part in his hair? A canyon.
They say bald is beautiful, but I’m still waiting for the beautiful part.
I tried using Rogaine, but it just made my forehead grow taller.
What do you call a bald man who can juggle? A hairless houdini.
I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair.
What did the bald man say when he was given a comb? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it.”
I used to be embarrassed about my baldness, but now I just comb it over with confidence.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares.
I’m not balding, I’m just experiencing a hair recession.

Bald People Jokes

Bald People Jokes:

I used to have a lot of hair, but now it’s just a hair-raising experience every time I look in the mirror.
My hairline is slowly but surely making a run for it.
I think my hair is thinning because I keep losing it in the shower drain.
I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair.
My hair is thinning so much that I’m thinking about going for a comb-over…to my beard.
They say bald is beautiful, but I’m still waiting for the beautiful part.
I used to have a full head of hair, but then I grew up and it moved south.
I’m not balding, I’m just aerodynamic.
I’m starting to think that my hair is just taking a hiatus from my scalp.
My hair is thinning so much that I’m thinking about starting a collection of hats.
I don’t have a receding hairline, I just have an expanding forehead.
I may be losing hair on my head, but I’m gaining it in my nose and ears.
My hair is thinning so much that I’m thinking about getting a job as a human solar panel.
I used to have a full head of hair, but now it’s more like a partial head of hair.
They say baldness runs in the family, but I’m hoping it’s more of a light jog.
My hair is thinning so much that I’m thinking about getting a job as a human shine ball.
I’m not losing hair, it’s just relocating to my shoulders.
I’m not bald, I’m just follicly challenged.
My hair may be thinning, but at least I’m still thick-skinned enough to laugh at myself.

Bald Head Jokes

Bald Head Jokes:

Why did the bald man put artificial sweetener on his head? He wanted to sweeten his hairline.
How does a barber cut a bald man’s hair? With a lawn mower.
Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? He wanted a hare piece.
How do you make a toupee? Just glue some hair onto a Frisbee and let it spin.
Why did the bald man go to the bank? To get a hair loan.
What do you call a bald man with a beard? A hairless lion.
Why did the bald man wear a turtleneck sweater? To hide his bald spot from the cold.
Why did the bald man go to the art museum? To see the paintings of bald-headed men.
How does a bald man find a date? He uses a shine detector.
What do you call a bald eagle? A follicly-challenged bird.

I love the ORIGINAL bald jokes #comedy

Most Funny Bald Jokes

Most Funny Bald Jokes:

What’s the difference between a bald man and a turtle? A turtle has a shell on his back and a bald man has a shell on his head.
Why did the bald man cross the road? To get to the hair salon on the other side.
Why did the bald man get a tattoo of a rabbit on his head? So he could say he had a hair hare day.
Why did the bald man buy a wig for his dog? So they could be follicle buddies.
What do you call a group of bald men? A chrome dome convention.
What do you call a bald man who takes up gardening? A balding green thumb.
Why did the bald man go to the gym? To pump up his scalp muscles.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it.”
Why do bald men wear hats? To protect their scalps from sunburn and frostbite.
What do you call a bald man who paints his head green? A hairless Hulk.
Why did the bald man join a music band? He wanted to be the tambourine player so he could shine his head under the stage lights.

Bald Puns

Bald Puns:

I’m starting to baldly go where I’ve never gone before.
I used to have a full head of hair, but now it’s a hairline fracture.
My hairline is receding faster than the tide.
I’m not losing hair, I’m just becoming aerodynamic.
My hairline is going on a vacation, but unfortunately, it’s a one-way ticket.
My barber charged me extra for the thinning shears, I guess you could say he was cutting me some slack.
My hair’s been thinning so much lately that I’m considering applying for a balding license.
My hair is getting so thin that I’m starting to see through to the other side.
I used to have a luscious mane, but now it’s more like a mohawk with a comb-over.
My hair may be thinning, but at least it’s not losing its sense of humor.
I’m not bald, I’m just follicly challenged.
I’m trying to embrace my thinning hair, but it’s hard when it’s always running away from me.
I’m not losing hair, I’m just gaining more head space.
My hairline is making a break for it, I think it’s trying to escape.
My hair’s disappearing faster than a politician’s promises.
I used to have a full head of hair, but now I’m rocking the fivehead look.
My hair’s thinning so much that I’m starting to look like a cross between a monk and a chia pet.
My hair’s thinning out so much that I’m thinking about getting a tattoo of a full head of hair.
My hairline may be retreating, but my sense of humor is advancing.

Bald Guy Jokes

Bald Guy Jokes:

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a full head of hare!
Why did the bald man put his head in a freezer? To get a cold head of hair!
Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair!
What do you call a bald man with a piece of wood on his head? Edward!
Why did the bald man go to the barber? To get his head sharpened!
What’s the difference between a bald man and a turtle? A turtle’s got a shell, and a bald man’s got a pelt!
Why did the bald man cross the road? To get to the other side… of his head!
What do you call a bald man who works for a car company? A chrome dome!
Why do bald men wear turtlenecks? To hide the marks from the headlock!
Why did the bald man go to the gym? To work on his scalp muscles!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it!”
Why did the bald man wear a sweater in the summer? To keep his head warm!
Why did the bald man put his comb in the refrigerator? To keep it cool!
What do you call a group of bald men playing poker? A full house!
Why did the bald man get a job at a bakery? To put a loaf of bread on his head!
Why did the bald man become a sailor? So he could wear a hat every day!
Why do bald men have more free time? They don’t have to worry about combing their hair!
What do you call a bald man with a watch on his head? Tim!
What did the bald man say when he was given a comb for Christmas? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it!”
Why did the bald man join a rock band? To become a headbanger!

Bald Jokes – One-Liners

Bald Jokes – One-Liners:

“My hair’s thinning? I prefer to think of it as my scalp getting more fresh air.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just becoming more aerodynamic.”
“I’m not losing hair, I’m gaining forehead.”
“My hair is just taking a sabbatical from my scalp.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just moving my hairline higher to make room for my thoughts.”
“My hair isn’t thinning, it’s just practicing social distancing from my scalp.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just evolving to a more streamlined look.”
“I’m not losing hair, I’m gaining a more prominent brow.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just strategically shedding to keep my head cool.”
“I’m not losing hair, I’m just becoming more aerodynamic for my morning jog.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just going for the George Costanza look.”
“My hair isn’t thinning, it’s just migrating to my back.”
“I’m not losing hair, I’m just making room for my hat collection.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just making way for my face to shine through.”
“My hair isn’t thinning, it’s just getting better at hide-and-seek.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just paving the way for a stylish bald look.”
“I’m not losing hair, I’m just becoming more aerodynamic for my next race.”
“I’m not balding, I’m just making room for my brain to expand.”
“My hair isn’t thinning, it’s just going on a journey to find its true purpose.”

Dad Jokes About Baldness (Bald Dad Jokes)

Bald Dad Jokes:

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
How do you get a man with a bald spot to comb his hair? Give him a hairbrush and tell him it’s a time machine.
Why do bald men love the weekends? Because they don’t have to work on their comb-over.
What did one bald man say to the other? “You look hairless today!”
Why did the bald man put a sweater on his head? Because he wanted to be a hair-raising sight!
What do you call a balding wizard? Hairy Potter.
Why did the bald man go to the hairdresser? To get a bald cut!
What do you call a balding gorilla? A barren-utan.
Why did the bald man go to the library? To check out a book on hair-raising tales.
What do you call a group of bald men? A chrome dome.
Why did the bald man wear a turtleneck? To hide his Adam’s apple and his bald spot!
How do you hide a bald spot? Put a rug on your head and sweep it under the carpet!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it.”
Why did the bald man take a shower? To wash his head and shoulders!
What do you call a bald man with a part in his hair? A unicorn!
What do you call a bald man with a sheep on his head? A woolly-headed man!
Why did the bald man go to the gym? To work on his scalp muscles!
What do you call a bald man with a wooden comb? A wooden comb-over!
What did the bald man say when he got a new toupee? “I can’t believe it’s not hair!”
Why did the bald man go to the art museum? To see if he could spot any brush strokes that matched his hairline!
What do you call a bald man with a wig? Hairy Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Funny Hair Jokes

Here are some funny hair jokes for you:

What do you call a hairdresser on a roller coaster? A roller curler!
Why did the hairdresser win the race? Because she knew a short cut!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
What do you call a hairy monster that plays the guitar? Furry Hendrix!
What do you call a hairdresser that cuts hair in space? An astronaut-ical stylist!
Why did the hairdresser go to school? To brush up on her skills!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it!
Why did the barber win the math contest? Because he knew how to count hairs!
Why did the hairdresser cross the road? To get to the other side part!
What do you call a hairdresser who only cuts men’s hair? A clipper ship!
Why did the hairdresser quit his job? He was always cutting corners!
What do you call a hairdresser’s worst nightmare? Split ends!
Why do hairdressers always bring a mirror to a robbery? So they can see their reflection in the getaway car!
What do you call a bad hair day for a bald person? A windstorm!
Why did the hairdresser break up with her boyfriend? He kept brushing her off!
What do you call a hairdresser who doesn’t like to talk? A hair-mute-ician!
Why did the hairdresser refuse to cut the customer’s hair? She said it was too tress-ful!
What do you call a hairdresser’s favorite movie? The Color Purple!
What did one strand of hair say to the other strand of hair? “I think we’re tangled up in each other!”
What did the bald man say when he was given a comb? “Thanks, I’ll just hang onto it in case I grow hair again someday!”

Funny Jokes About Hairlines

Funny Jokes About Hairlines:

“I used to have a bad hairline, but then I got a divorce and it started to grow back.”
“My hairline may be receding, but at least I have a forehead for days.”
“I’ve come to terms with my hairline. It’s not receding, it’s just making a strategic retreat.”
“My hairline is like a superhero, always saving my forehead from sunburn.”
“I used to have a full head of hair, but now I just have a strong hairline game.”
“I may not have a full head of hair, but at least I can save money on shampoo.”
“My hairline is like a work of art, it’s just evolving.”
“My hairline may be running away from my forehead, but at least it’s getting a good workout.”
“I’ve embraced my hairline, it’s just making way for bigger and better things.”
“My hairline is like a good friend, it’s always there for me, just a little further back.”
“I may not have a full head of hair, but at least I have a full forehead.”
“My hairline may be receding, but my intelligence is advancing.”
“I don’t have a hairline, I have a forehead coastline.”
“My hairline may be retreating, but my confidence is advancing.”
“I’ve learned to appreciate my hairline, it’s just making room for a bigger personality.”
“I may not have hair on my head, but I have hair on my chest and that’s what really counts.”
“My hairline is like a runway, always leading me to new opportunities.”
“My hairline is just a reflection of my maturity, it’s moving away from my teenage years.”
“I may not have a full head of hair, but at least I have a full head of ideas.”
“My hairline is like a loyal soldier, always retreating to defend my forehead.”

Going Bald (Stand Up Comedy)

FAQs – Bald Jokes

What are some jokes for bald people?

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a head full of hare!
What do you call a balding werewolf? A hairwolf!
What do you call a bald pirate? Scallywag!
Why did the man with thinning hair go to a bank? To get a loan for a wig!
What do you call a bald bird? A feather duster!
Why did the bald man wear a turtleneck? To hide his Adam’s apple!
Why did the bald man wear a visor? To keep his forehead from getting a sunburn!
What do you call a bald superhero? Chrome Dome!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? To look hare-raising!
What do you call a balding snowman? A slushie!

What are some good bald jokes?

Why did the bald man get a tattoo of a hairline on his head? To cover up his bald spot!
Why did the bald man go to a costume party as a vampire? So he could wear a wig as a cape!
What do you call a balding camel? Humpless!
Why did the bald man go to a haunted house? To get scared enough to grow hair!
What do you call a balding horse? Neigh-more hair!
Why did the bald man wear a bandana? To look like a pirate!
Why did the bald man wear a wig to bed? So he could have a good hair day in his dreams!
What do you call a balding shark? Finless!
Why did the bald man take up gardening? To grow his own hair!
Why did the bald man go to a spa? To get a scalp massage and feel like he had a full head of hair!

Conclusion

Bald jokes, also known as bald guy jokes, are a type of humor that typically focuses on a person’s lack of hair on their head.

Here are some common characteristics of bald jokes:

Target: Bald jokes often target people who are bald or balding, although they can also be directed toward people with thinning hair.
Stereotypes: Bald jokes are often insulting in nature, and can be hurtful to those who are targeted. They may play on stereotypes or negative connotations associated with baldness, such as being old, unattractive, or lacking virility.
Absurd: Some bald jokes are intentionally absurd or ridiculous, playing on the idea that being bald is somehow inherently funny or absurd.
Widespread: Bald jokes are a common form of humor, and can be found in many different types of media, including television shows, movies, stand-up comedy, and online memes.

While some people may find bald jokes funny, others may find them offensive or insensitive. It’s important to be mindful of the impact that jokes can have on different people, and to avoid using humor that could be hurtful or exclusionary.

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