179+ Boat Puns & Jokes [Funny Ship Jokes]

Boat puns and jokes are often wordplays or witty quips related to the nautical world.

Here are some common characteristics of boat puns and jokes:

Play on words: Boat puns often involve wordplay, such as using words that sound similar or have multiple meanings. For example, “Why did the boat break up with the pier? Because it couldn’t commit to a dock.”
Nautical references: Boat puns and jokes often use nautical terms and references, such as “anchors aweigh,” “seas the day,” or “sail away.”
Puns with common phrases: Boat puns can also involve incorporating common phrases or idioms, such as “smooth sailing,” “a sinking feeling,” or “all hands on deck.”
Humorous situations: Boat puns and jokes often involve humorous situations that are relatable to boating or being on the water, such as “Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the party? Because he wanted to raise the roof.”
Word twists: Boat puns and jokes can also involve twisting words or phrases in unexpected ways, such as “What do you call a boat that won’t float? A punctured sail.”

Overall, boat puns and jokes are a fun and light-hearted way to bring some humor into the nautical world.

We have more than 100 boat puns and jokes in this article.

Let’s get sailing 🙂

Table of Contents

Boat Puns

Boat Puns:

I used to be a sailor, but I couldn’t keep afloat.
Why did the sailor go to the doctor? He had anchor management issues.
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the water? A row-boat.
I’m on a boat and it’s going down…memory lane.
Why did the pirate refuse to say “aye, aye, captain”? He had aye-aye allergies.
I’m not afraid of water, I’m afraid of sunk costs.
Why did the boat break up with the pier? It just didn’t see the dock as a stable relationship.
What do you call a group of sailors playing instruments? A band on ship.
I used to have a boat but I sold it because it was a sinking investment.
What do you call a sailor who’s always looking at his phone? A sea-foam addict.
Why don’t pirates know the alphabet? They always get stuck at “C” (sea).
Why did the boat captain get in trouble? He took the helm for granted.
Why don’t boats like to play card games? Because they prefer to be at the deck, not the table.
Why did the captain cross the river? To get to the other tide.
What do you call a pirate with two legs and two eyes? A beginner.
Why did the sailboat go to the bar? To get a little jib-baited.
Why did the boat refuse to go in the water? It was feeling a little high and dry.
What do you call a boat that’s good at math? A calculus.
Why did the sailor fail the test? He couldn’t stay a-float.
What do you call a boat that can’t swim? A sunk cost.
Why did the sailor break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn’t his type (tide).
What do you call a boat with a hole in it? A shipwreck waiting to happen.
Why did the pirate wear a patch? He wanted to keep an eye on the prize.
What do you call a boat that’s really bad at math? A trigonometree.
Why did the sailor take his pet snake on board? He wanted to sea-adder.
What do you call a sailor who can’t swim? A man over bored.
Why did the boat refuse to go near the shore? It had a rocky relationship with land.
Why don’t boats like to wear shoes? They prefer to be barefoot on deck.
What do you call a boat that’s always running late? A procrastina-yacht.
Why did the pirate go to the chiropractor? He had a bad case of high-seas scurvy.
What do you call a boat that’s always giving orders? A dictator-ship.
Why did the boat captain join a gym? He wanted to stay a-float.
What do you call a boat that can’t swim but can fly? A sea-plane.
Why did the sailor bring a mop on board? He wanted to swab the deck of his problems.
What do you call a group of pirates that play hockey? The Black Sea Hawks.
Why did the boat hire a detective? To solve the case of the missing anchor.

Boat Jokes

Boat Jokes:

Why don’t boats like to wear pants? Because they prefer shorts.
Why was the sailor always broke? He kept blowing all his dough on the sails.
What do you call a boat that can’t swim? A bo-at!
Why did the pirate buy a new ship? His old one had too many arrr-guments.
Why did the boat go to the bank? To make a deposit!
What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A bagel.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea-weed!
Why did the boat go to the doctor? It was feeling a little un-anchor-ed.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bay-gulls!
What did one oar say to the other oar? “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”
Why did the boat get a ticket? It was double-parked.
What do you get when you cross a boat and an elephant? A sail-ephant!
Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
Why did the boat cross the river? To get to the other tide.
What do you call a boat that doesn’t sink? A miracle.
What do you call a mermaid on a boat? A ship-wreck-tress.
Why did the boat break up with the pier? It couldn’t commit to a dock.
What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated.
Why did the boat hire a lawyer? It was in deep water.
What do you get when you cross a boat and a snake? A boa-boat!
Why don’t boats like to play cards? Because they might be dealt a bad hand.
What did the sea say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the boat become an actor? It wanted to be in the spotlight.
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie.
Why did the boat go to the gym? It wanted to work on its abs.
What do you call a boat that can drive itself? Auto-mobile.
Why did the boat go to school? It wanted to learn how to be seaworthy.
What do you call a boat that’s scared of the water? A chicken-of-the-sea.
Why did the boat join the Navy? It wanted to see the world.
What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King of the sea.
Why did the boat refuse to play tennis? It didn’t like to be volleyed around.
What do you call a boat that’s a troublemaker? A row-bull rouser.
Why did the boat break up with the sail? It was too windy of a relationship.
What did one boat say to the other boat? “Are you up for some row-play?”

Kayaking For Boat Puns

Kayak Jokes

Kayak Jokes:

Why don’t kayakers ever say “I’m bored”? Because they always have a paddle to play with!
Why did the kayaker wear a life jacket while he was on land? Just in case he capsized!
How do you make a kayak smile? Paddle its cheeks!
Why did the kayaker go to the doctor? Because he had a paddle ache!
What did the kayaker say when he lost his paddle? “Oh buoy!”
How do kayakers communicate? They use their canoe-sense!
What do you call a group of kayakers? A paddle of friends!
Why did the kayaker cross the river? To get to the other tide!
What’s a kayaker’s favorite game? Paddleball!
What do you call a kayaker who can’t swim? A sinker!
What do you call a kayaker with a cold? A cough paddle!
Why did the kayaker bring a bell on his trip? To sound the alarm in case of a kayak-sis!
Why don’t kayakers trust skinny water? Because it’s too shallow!
Why did the kayaker quit his job? He didn’t like being paddled around!
What do kayakers say when they finish a race? “We did it paddle to the metal!”

Canoe Jokes

Canoe Jokes:

Why did the canoeist quit his job? He wanted to paddle his own canoe!
What did the canoe say to the kayak? “Can you paddle to me, I’m in a bit of a jam!”
How does a canoeist like his coffee? Paddled with cream and sugar!
What do you call a canoeist who’s always on time? A punctual paddler!
What’s a canoeist’s favorite vegetable? Paddle-onions!
What do you call a canoeist who’s always lost? A dis-oriented paddler!
Why did the canoeist bring a bell on his trip? To sound the alarm in case of a canoe-sis!
What do you call a canoeist who’s always cold? A shiver-me-timbers paddler!
How do you make a canoeist smile? You paddle their cheeks!
What’s a canoeist’s favorite game? Paddle ball!
Why don’t canoeists ever say “I’m bored”? Because they always have a paddle to play with!
What do you call a group of canoeists? A paddle of friends!
What do you call a canoeist with a cold? A cough paddler!
Why did the canoeist cross the river? To get to the other tide!
What do canoeists say when they finish a race? “We did it paddle to the metal!”

Yacht Jokes

Yacht Jokes:

What do you call a yacht that won’t go? A row-boat.
What do you call a pirate yacht? A Jolly Rogerger.
Why did the yacht break up with the sailboat? It was too dinghy.
What did the yacht say when it hit a rock? Oh buoy!
What do you call a yacht that’s not yours? A seacret.
Why did the yacht get a ticket? It was parked in a no-wake zone.
What did one yacht say to the other yacht? “You’re really schooner than later.”
Why did the yacht join a gym? It wanted to stay ship-shape.
Why don’t yachts tell jokes? They’re afraid they might make waves.
What do you call a yacht that’s gone overboard? A sail-buoy.

Ship Jokes

Ship Jokes:

Why did the sailor take up boxing? To learn how to throw a knockout punch.
What do you call a ship that lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck.
What did the captain say to the crew when they hit a rock? “Abandon ship!”.
What do you get when you cross a ship with a snowman? Frostbite.
Why did the ship join the gym? To get a little more cabin pressure.
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s “R,” but it’s actually the “C” (for the sea).
What did the sea say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a ship that’s been seized by the ocean? A repossession.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
How do you know if a ship is happy? It has a buoyfriend.

Boat Dad Jokes

Boat Dad Jokes:

Why did the boat go to the doctor? It had a hull-ache.
What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sole-dressed.
What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.
Why don’t boats like to go to parties? Because they always end up getting ancho-vies.
Why was the sailor a little nervous? Because he had a lot at stern.
Why did the boat go to school? To learn how to read the buoy-ancy chart.
Why did the boat break up with the pier? It was tired of all the drama.
Why did the boat’s batteries die? They weren’t properly charged-er.
What do you call a boat that’s been stolen? A pirate-ship.
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the water? A chicken-tug.

Boat Jokes – One-Liners

Boat Jokes – One-Liners:

Why did the boat go to the gym? To get a little more fit to sail.
What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable? Arrrr-tichokes.
Why do boats make terrible dancers? They have two left oars.
What do you get when you cross a boat and a snowman? Frostbite.
Why did the boat’s motor stop working? It was outboard of ideas.
Why did the boat break up with the pier? It was tired of all the drama.
What do you call a boat that can’t float? A capsized investment.
What did the ocean say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the water? A chicken-tug.
Why don’t boats like to go to the gym? They don’t like to work out in the wake.

Boat Captain Jokes

Boat Captain Jokes:

Why did the boat captain bring a ladder to the party? He wanted to climb aboard the punchline!
Why did the boat captain refuse to eat the fish he caught? He said it tasted a little fishy.
Why did the boat captain feel like a genius? He figured out how to get a dollar bill to stay afloat in the water.
Why did the boat captain refuse to let his crew use the bathroom on the ship? He said they were going to have to hold it seaworthy!
Why did the boat captain need a map when he was fishing? He wanted to know which way the scales tipped.
Why did the boat captain give up his job as a storm chaser? He didn’t want to rock the boat.
Why did the boat captain start a fish market? He had a net profit.
Why did the boat captain decide to join a band? He wanted to be a marina and the Diamonds.
Why did the boat captain feel like he was in a bad dream? He was stuck in a fisherman’s net.
Why did the boat captain get a tattoo of a ship on his arm? He wanted to show off his gunwale muscles.

Nautical Jokes

Nautical Jokes:

What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sophis-ti-cod.
Why did the pirate go to the Apple Store? He wanted to buy an iPatch.
Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells.
Why did the sailor refuse to use the GPS? He wanted to chart his own course.
Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the beach? He wanted to climb aboard the sun!
Why did the captain’s wife divorce him? She said he was too stern.
Why did the sailor get seasick? He was feeling a little dis-oar-iented.
Why did the lobster blush? He saw the ocean’s bottom.
Why did the octopus cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
What do you call a pirate who likes to share? Aye-aye, captain!

Boat Owner Jokes

Boat Owner Jokes:

Why did the boat owner take his boat to the doctor? It had a bad case of barnacles.
Why did the boat owner install a jacuzzi on his boat? So he could have a little seacret relaxation time.
Why did the boat owner become a vegetarian? He wanted to stay off the reef.
Why did the boat owner name his boat “Sheila”? Because it was always on his mind.
Why did the boat owner refuse to let his wife on the boat? He didn’t want to rock the boat!
Why did the boat owner think he was a great comedian? He had a lot of stern material.
Why did the boat owner have a problem with his steering wheel? It kept giving him the cold shoulder.
Why did the boat owner have trouble sleeping on his boat? The waves kept lulling him to sleep.
Why did the boat owner hire a private detective? To track down his missing anchor.
Why did the boat owner go to the gym? He wanted to get shipshape for the summer.

Sailing Jokes

Sailing Jokes:

Why did the sailor put a bandage on his boat? It had a cutwater.
Why did the sailor refuse to use a compass? He wanted to find his own true north.
Why did the sailor have trouble sleeping? He kept worrying about the wake-up call.

Why did the sailor join a rowing team? He wanted to learn the ropes.
Why did the sailor cross the Atlantic on a paddleboard? He wanted to make a splash.
Why did the sailor refuse to wear a life jacket? He thought it would cramp his style.
Why did the sailor always wear sunglasses? He didn’t want to be blinded by the light on the waves.
Why did the sailor become a professional athlete? He was a natural born sailor.
Why did the sailor get in trouble with his boss? He was caught skipping work to go for a sail.
Why did the sailor get a sunburn on his left arm? He forgot to port!

FAQs – Boat Puns

What are some funny puns about boats?

Here are 15+ puns about boats:

Did you hear about the kidnapping on the boat? He woke up on the shore and found out he’d been marooned.
Why don’t boats like going to the gym? Because they already have hulls.
How do you know if a boat is polite? It waves.
Why did the boat break up with the pier? It wanted to see other docks.
Why are boats so expensive? They have a lot of oar-insurance.
What do you call a group of boat builders? A floatilla.
How does a boat say hello to another boat? It gives a friendly sailute.
Why do boats make bad dancers? They have two left wakes.
What did the ocean say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.
Why do boats feel like they’re always repeating themselves? Because they keep going in circles.
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the water? A row boat.
Why do people love going on boat trips? It’s just water under the bridge.
How do you know if a boat is intelligent? It has a lot of oar-dinary sense.
Why don’t boats like being tickled? Because they have hull-sensitivity.
Why did the boat owner sell his boat? He needed to raise the anchor.

What are some jokes about yachts?

And here are 15+ jokes about yachts:

What did the yacht say when it hit the wall? “I can’t believe I ran into a yacht-icle.”
Why did the yacht get a ticket? It was caught speeding in a no-wake zone.
What do you call a yacht that doesn’t have a steering wheel? A yachtzee.
Why was the yacht so afraid of getting wet? It was afraid it would yacht-choo.
What do you call a yacht that likes to drink a lot? A booze-cruiser.
Why did the yacht feel lonely? It had no one to port to.
Why did the yacht break up with its sailboat girlfriend? She was too mast to handle.
How do yachts communicate with each other? They use yacht-chat.
Why did the yacht captain refuse to take the job? He couldn’t find a berth certificate.
What do you call a yacht that’s always on time? A punctual boat.
Why did the yacht need a new engine? It was running out of steam.
How do you make a yacht disappear? Just remove the “y” and the “t” from its name.
Why did the yacht’s fuel gauge break? It had too many knots.
What do you call a group of yachts racing together? A regatta-ta-ta.
Why did the yacht captain take a job on a cargo ship? He wanted to make a little extra hull-a-haul.

Conclusion

Boat puns and jokes are typically wordplay or humorous statements that make reference to boats, ships, or nautical themes.

Some common characteristics of boat puns and jokes include:

Play on words: Boat puns often involve a play on words or a pun, using homophones or homonyms to create a humorous effect. For example, “Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the boat? Because he wanted to step up his game!”
Nautical references: Boat puns and jokes typically make reference to nautical themes, such as sailors, pirates, ships, and the ocean. These references can be used to set up the joke or as part of the punchline. For example, “Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap with them? To wash up on shore leave!”
Absurdity: Many boat puns and jokes are absurd or silly, relying on exaggeration or surreal imagery to create a humorous effect. For example, “Why did the boat go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little seasick!”
Visual humor: Boat puns and jokes can also rely on visual humor, using imagery or illustrations to create a funny effect. For example, a cartoon of a ship with a “no sails” sign might be accompanied by the caption, “Looks like it’s time for a power trip!”

Overall, boat puns and jokes are a playful and lighthearted way to poke fun at nautical themes and entertain others with a bit of wordplay and humor.

179+ Boat Puns & Jokes [Funny Ship Jokes]

Boat Puns