Funny Celebrity Quotes

127+ Funny Celebrity Quotes

Funny celebrity quotes are statements made by famous people that are intended to be humorous or witty.

Some of the characteristics of funny celebrity quotes include:

  • Witty: Funny celebrity quotes are usually witty, meaning they are clever and amusing. They often involve wordplay, puns, or clever twists on common phrases.
  • Irreverent: Celebrities often use their platform to say things that are irreverent or unexpected. Funny celebrity quotes may be irreverent in the sense that they poke fun at societal norms, expectations, or institutions.
  • Self-deprecating: Many funny celebrity quotes involve poking fun at oneself. Celebrities often use humor to acknowledge their own flaws, mistakes, or quirks, endearing themselves to their fans.
  • Timely: Funny celebrity quotes often reference current events, pop culture, or trending topics. They may use humor to comment on something that is happening in the news or to riff on a recent meme or trend.
  • Memorable: The best funny celebrity quotes are memorable, sticking in people’s minds long after they are spoken. They may become catchphrases or go viral on social media, spreading far beyond the original context in which they were said.

Overall, funny celebrity quotes are a way for famous people to connect with their fans through humor, wit, and irreverence.

They can be a refreshing break from the often-staid world of celebrity interviews and PR statements, giving fans a glimpse of the person behind the public persona.

Funny Celebrity Quotes

Here are some funny celebrity quotes:

  1. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry) in Friends
  2. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
  3. “I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
  4. “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner
  5. “I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.” – Samuel Goldwyn
  6. “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
  7. “I’m not really a morning person, but I’m willing to make an exception for coffee.” – Betty White
  8. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
  9. “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield
  10. “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.” – Peter Bergman in a commercial for a soap opera
  11. “I’m not a businessman. I’m a business, man.” – Jay-Z
  12. “I’m not the kind of person who tries to be cool or trendy. I’m definitely an individual.” – Leonardo DiCaprio
  13. “I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors, in the mud and rain.” – Woody Allen
  14. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx
  15. “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” – Arthur C. Clarke
  16. “I’m not the kind of person who likes to shout out my personal issues from the rooftops, but with my bipolar disorder becoming public, I hope fellow sufferers will know it’s completely controllable.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones
  17. “I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.” – Noel Coward
  18. “I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night, and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.” – Woody Allen
  19. “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
  20. “I’m not a role model… Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.” – Charles Barkley
  21. “I’m not a woman, I’m a force of nature.” – Courtney Love
  22. “I’m not a great programmer; I’m just a good programmer with great habits.” – Kent Beck
  23. “I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there’s morning sickness. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.” – Ellen DeGeneres
  24. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Woody Allen
  25. “I’m not a morning person, but I am a coffee person.” – David Letterman
  26. “I’m not a politician. I’m just a comedian who got elected mayor. That’s what I think most people like about me.” – Jimmy Morales
  27. “I’m not a fashion icon. I’m just a woman who likes to dress up.” – Iris Apfel
  28. “I’m not a chef. But I’m passionate about food – the tradition of it, cooking it, and sharing it.” – Zac Posen
  29. “I’m not a socialite. I’m a working woman.” – Paris Hilton
  30. “I’m not a fighter. I’m a lover. But I will fight for what I love.” – Alicia Keys
  31. “I’m not a prophet. I’m just a musician.” – Bob Marley
  32. “I’m not a philosopher. I’m just a man who knows what he likes.” – John Lydon
  33. “I’m not a dictator. It’s just that I have a grumpy face.” – Vladimir Putin
  34. “I’m not a hero. I’m a survivor.” – Elizabeth Smart
  35. “I’m not a politician. I’m an actor who took communication courses.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
  36. “I’m not a musician who dresses up for the stage or tries to project some kind of image. I am who I am.” – Eddie Vedder
  37. “I’m not a religious person. I’m a spiritual person.” – Oprah Winfrey
  38. “I’m not a football player, I’m a footballer.” – David Beckham
  39. “I’m not a movie star, I’m an actress. And I’m a writer and producer.” – Julia Louis-Dreyfus
  40. “I’m not a millionaire. I’m just financially challenged.” – Drew Carey
  41. “I’m not a celebrity. I’m a worker.” – Harrison Ford
  42. “I’m not a supermodel. I’m just a regular model.” – Cindy Crawford
  43. “I’m not a genius. I’m just a hard worker.” – Will Smith
  44. “I’m not a perfectionist. I’m a humanist.” – Michael Jackson
  45. “I’m not a saint unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.” – Nelson Mandela
  46. “I’m not a politician. I’m an environmentalist who happens to be a politician.” – Al Gore
  47. “I’m not a guru. I’m just a person who has been through a lot.” – Deepak Chopra
  48. “I’m not a model, I’m an artist.” – Lady Gaga
  49. “I’m not a singer. I’m a song stylist.” – Tony Bennett
  50. “I’m not a hero. I’m a comedian.” – Stephen Colbert
  51. “I’m not a diva. I’m a survivor.” – Jennifer Lopez
  52. “I’m not a therapist. I’m a comedian.” – Ellen DeGeneres
  53. “I’m not a politician. I’m an activist who happens to hold political office.” – Bernie Sanders
  54. “I’m not a politician. I’m a problem solver.” – Cory Booker
  55. “I’m not a musician. I’m a conductor.” – Leonard Bernstein
  56. “I’m not a teacher. I’m an awakener.” – Robert Frost

Funny Celebrity Quotes

Famous Funny Celebrity Quotes

Famous Funny Celebrity Quotes:

  1. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry), Friends
  2. “I don’t know karate, but I do know crazy.” – Charlie Sheen
  3. “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” – Oscar Wilde
  4. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
  5. “I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
  6. “I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.” – Noel Coward
  7. “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.” – Drake
  8. “I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.” – Unknown
  9. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
  10. “I’m not a vegetarian because I respect animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown

Short Funny Celebrity Quotes

Short Funny Celebrity Quotes:

  1. “I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
  2. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
  3. “I’m not great with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Unknown
  4. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
  5. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.” – Unknown
  6. “I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.” – Unknown
  7. “I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
  8. “I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.” – Unknown
  9. “I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.” – Unknown
  10. “I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my opinion and you’re wrong.” – Unknown

Iconic Funny Celebrity Quotes

Iconic Funny Celebrity Quotes:

  1. “I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.” – Hugh Hefner
  2. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis
  3. “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man.” – Jay Z
  4. “I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Muhammad Ali
  5. “I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of warm veal cutlets and a vat of Vaseline.” – Bill Murray
  6. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
  7. “I don’t have pet peeves – I have major psychotic f***ing hatreds!” – George Carlin
  8. “I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.” – Lewis Carroll
  9. “I don’t hate anyone. I just don’t like that particular person.” – Unknown
  10. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

Iconic Funny Celebrity Quotes

Funny Celebrity Quotes About Life

Funny Celebrity Quotes About Life:

  1. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)
  2. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
  3. “I have a love-hate relationship with life. I love it and it hates me.” – Unknown
  4. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon
  5. “Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.” – Mallory Hopkins
  6. “Life is a journey, but if you forget to pack your sense of humor, you’re in for a rough ride.” – Unknown
  7. “Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.” – John Wayne
  8. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
  9. “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” – Charlie Chaplin
  10. “Life is like a roller coaster, live it, be happy, enjoy life.” – Avril Lavigne

Funny Celebrity Quotes About Marriage

Funny Celebrity Quotes About Marriage:

  1. “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.” – Billy Connolly
  2. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
  3. “Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.” – Richard Pryor
  4. “Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
  5. “The key to a successful marriage is accepting that you’re not going to change the other person. And the words, ‘Yes, dear. Whatever you want.'” – Patrick Dempsey
  6. “Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.” – Irwin Corey
  7. “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” – Helen Rowland
  8. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft
  9. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.” – Joyce Brothers
  10. “The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.” – Harold Nicolson

Funny Celebrity Quotes About Relationships

Funny Celebrity Quotes About Relationships:

  1. “I’m single because I was born that way.” – Mae West
  2. “The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.” – Bobby Kelton
  3. “In a relationship one person is always right and the other person is the boyfriend.” – Unknown
  4. “Relationships are like farting, if you push too hard things could get messy real fast.” – Unknown
  5. “The best way to start a relationship is to be best friends, so you already know how stupid you can be around each other.” – Unknown
  6. “Relationships are like a walk in the park – Jurassic Park.” – Unknown
  7. “All relationships are give and take. You just have to figure out which one you’re better at.” – Unknown
  8. “Relationships are like garage sales, from a distance they look like a lot of junk, but up close you realize it’s just what you’ve been looking for.” – Unknown
  9. “A relationship is like a house. When a lightbulb burns out, you don’t go and buy a new house, you fix the lightbulb.” – Bernajoy Vaal
  10. “A successful relationship requires falling in love multiple times, but always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin


Funny Celebrity Quotes About Relationships

Funny Celebrity Quotes for Birthdays

Funny Celebrity Quotes for Birthdays:

  1. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins
  2. “I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday’.” – Steven Wright
  3. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
  4. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzoni
  5. “I can’t believe I’m 50. I feel like I just graduated from high school, but with more back pain.” – Ellen DeGeneres
  6. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney
  7. “At my age, an afternoon nap is a lot like a party.” – Unknown
  8. “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.” – Shirley Bassey
  9. “As you get older, three things happen: the first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom
  10. “I don’t really care about age. It’s just a number, and I don’t believe in numbers.” – Dolly Parton

Conclusion – Funny Celebrity Quotes

Funny celebrity quotes are a great way for famous people to showcase their humor and wit while connecting with their fans.

They can be irreverent, self-deprecating, timely, and memorable, sticking in people’s minds long after they are spoken.

From Woody Allen’s witty one-liners to Ellen DeGeneres’ hilarious observations, there is no shortage of funny celebrity quotes to enjoy.

Whether it’s for a quick laugh or a bit of inspiration, these quotes can remind us that even the most successful and famous people can have a sense of humor about themselves and the world around them.


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