Hockey Puns, Jokes & Captions [Hockey Humor]

279+ Hockey Puns, Jokes & Captions [Hockey Humor]

Hockey puns, jokes, and captions are forms of humor that are typically centered around the game of hockey, its players, and its culture.

Some common characteristics of hockey humor include:

  • Wordplay: Many hockey puns and jokes involve clever wordplay, often using hockey terminology in a humorous way. For example, “Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score!”
  • Stereotypes: Hockey humor often plays on common stereotypes associated with the sport, such as the toughness of the players, the cold weather they play in, and their Canadian roots. For example, “Why did the hockey player go to bed? Because he wanted to get some shutout!”
  • Absurdity: Some hockey jokes and captions rely on absurd or nonsensical humor, such as “Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hat trick!”
  • Pop culture references: Hockey humor often incorporates references to popular culture, such as movies, TV shows, and music. For example, “Why did the hockey player watch Jurassic Park before the game? He wanted to learn how to defend against the velociraptor line!”

Overall, hockey puns, jokes, and captions are a lighthearted way to celebrate the sport and its culture, while also providing some laughter and entertainment for fans.

We have hundreds of hockey jokes and puns in this article.

So let’s stick around and take a look 🙂

Hockey Puns

Hockey Puns:

  1. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his goalie pads!
  2. What do you call a penguin in a hockey jersey? A Pen-guins!
  3. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other ice!
  4. Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? He had a puck-ache!
  5. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because they prefer to stay on ice!
  6. What do you call a nervous goalie? A net-wreck!
  7. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To reach the high stick!
  8. Why did the hockey player take his girlfriend to the rink? He wanted to show her his stickhandling skills!
  9. What do you call a frozen penguin? A hockey puck!
  10. Why did the hockey player bring a chicken to the game? He wanted to try out his deke-a-roo!
  11. Why did the hockey player take a ladder onto the ice? Because he wanted to be a high-sticking penalty killer!
  12. What did the hockey player say to the goalie after scoring a goal? “Nice save, buddy!”
  13. Why did the hockey player take his dog to the game? To see the pup-puck drop!
  14. What do you call a team of snowmen playing hockey? The Chill-Blains!
  15. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? He wanted to withdraw his hat-trick!
  16. What do you call a hockey game with no fights? A snooze-ice!
  17. Why did the hockey player bring a wrench to the game? He wanted to tighten up his defense!
  18. What do you call a hockey player who gets hit in the head with a puck? A puck-head!
  19. Why did the hockey player take his cat to the game? He wanted to see some fur-ocious action!
  20. What do you call a hockey player who loves to dance? A puck-jive artist!
  21. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? He wanted to deposit his hat-trick!
  22. What do you call a hockey player with a cold? A sneeze-guard!
  23. Why did the hockey player bring a duck to the game? He wanted to try out his quack-handling skills!
  24. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A gummy-bear!
  25. Why did the hockey player take a roll of duct tape onto the ice? He wanted to tape-up his game!
  26. What do you call a hockey player with a great memory? A puck-savant!
  27. Why did the hockey player bring a book to the game? He wanted to check out the face-off!
  28. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A sit-stick!
  29. Why did the hockey player bring a mirror to the game? To check his reflection on the ice!
  30. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A penalty-box-sitter!
  31. Why did the hockey player bring a sailboat to the game? He wanted to score a wind-sail!
  32. What do you call a hockey player who’s always whining? A winer-skater!
  33. Why did the hockey player bring a hammer to the game? He wanted to nail down his shot!
  34. What do you call a hockey player with a sunburn? A red-line!
  35. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game? He wanted to sweep the ice!
  36. What do you call a hockey player who’s always on the bench? A rink rat!

Hockey Jokes

Hockey Jokes:

  1. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? Because he wanted to tie the score.
  2. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his goalie money.
  3. Why did the hockey player take his pet snake to the rink? Because he wanted a slippery puck.
  4. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To reach the high-sticking penalties.
  5. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other ice.
  6. What’s a hockey player’s favorite drink? Penalty Kool-Aid.
  7. Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hat-trick.
  8. Why did the hockey player bring a car to the game? Because he heard the referee was blowing his whistle.
  9. Why did the hockey player put a clock in his helmet? Because he wanted to play overtime.
  10. What did the hockey puck say when it got hit? “Ouch, that hurt-eh!”
  11. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his goalie money.
  12. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To open a checking line.
  13. Why did the hockey player wear a wig? So he could get a hat trick.
  14. Why did the hockey player go to the gym? To work on his slap shots.
  15. Why do hockey players like to play outside? Because the ice is always fresh.
  16. Why did the hockey player bring a saw to the game? To cut the ice.
  17. Why did the hockey player bring a bird to the game? So he could get a flying penalty.
  18. Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? Because he wanted to score in the corners.
  19. Why did the hockey player go to the dentist? Because he lost his teeth.
  20. Why did the hockey player go to the eye doctor? Because he couldn’t see the puck.
  21. What do you call a hockey player who only scores one goal? A one-timer.
  22. Why did the hockey player put a bell on his stick? So he could ring up the goals.
  23. Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game? So he could see the long shots.
  24. Why did the hockey player bring a screwdriver to the game? To tighten the defense.
  25. Why did the hockey player bring a hammer to the game? To nail down a win.
  26. What did the hockey player say when he was traded to the South Pole? “I guess I’ll be playing ice hockey for real now!”
  27. Why did the hockey player bring a fishing pole to the game? To catch the high sticks.
  28. Why did the hockey player bring a whistle to the game? So he could call his own penalties.
  29. What do you call a group of hockey players standing in line waiting for a drink? A power drink.
  30. What do you call a hockey player with no arms or legs? Still a better player than the Maple Leafs.
  31. Why did the hockey player bring a toaster to the game? To make a bread-crease.
  32. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game? To sweep the competition.
  33. Why did the hockey player bring a calculator to the game? To figure out the scoring.
  34. Why did the hockey player bring a baseball bat to the game? To hit a grand slam.
  35. Why did the hockey player bring a spoon to the game? To score some goals with his soup-stick.
  36. What do you call a referee who gets hit in the face with the puck? A face-off.

TRYING STAND UP COMEDY WITH HOCKEY JOKES

Hockey Captions

Hockey Captions:

  1. Skating towards victory.
  2. Stickhandling like a pro.
  3. The puck stops here.
  4. On the ice, anything is possible.
  5. Game on!
  6. Let’s go, team!
  7. Keep calm and play hockey.
  8. Hockey hair, don’t care.
  9. Defending the goal like a boss.
  10. In hockey, there are no ties.
  11. Chasing the puck, chasing the dream.
  12. Hockey: where the cold meets the bold.
  13. Slapshot success.
  14. Puck luck.
  15. On thin ice.
  16. Hockey is life.
  17. Skating circles around the competition.
  18. Stick to it.
  19. The ice is our home.
  20. Hockey isn’t just a game, it’s a lifestyle.
  21. Stick it to ’em.
  22. Winning is everything.
  23. The thrill of the game.
  24. Hockey: where the battles are fought and the victories are won.
  25. Let’s score some goals!
  26. It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.
  27. Hockey is a way of life.
  28. Don’t just play the game, live it.
  29. In hockey, we trust.
  30. Stick together, win together.
  31. Hockey is a game of speed, skill, and determination.
  32. Skating towards greatness.
  33. The ice never looked so good.
  34. Puck yeah!
  35. Hockey is our passion.
  36. Shoot for the stars.
  37. We are the champions, my friends.
  38. Hockey is not just a sport, it’s an emotion.
  39. A goal without a plan is just a wish, but a goal in hockey is a victory.

Hockey Instagram Captions

Hockey Instagram Captions:

  1. Skating through life like a pro.
  2. Puck yeah! Let’s play some hockey.
  3. Leave it all on the ice.
  4. Hockey is more than just a game, it’s a way of life.
  5. Stick in hand, heart on ice.
  6. It’s not just a sport, it’s a passion.
  7. Play hard, skate harder.
  8. Keep calm and hockey on.
  9. Win or lose, it’s all about the love for the game.
  10. Hockey: where the ice meets the fire within.
  11. My skates may be dull, but my passion for hockey is sharp.
  12. Hockey: the only place where a biscuit can make you a hero.
  13. Life is short, play hockey.
  14. Hockey isn’t just a game, it’s a lifestyle.
  15. Work hard, skate harder, win the game.
  16. No ice, no glory.
  17. Hockey: where every goal is a victory and every loss is a lesson.
  18. The ice is my happy place.
  19. Hockey: the ultimate adrenaline rush.
  20. Hockey: a game of speed, skill, and heart.
  21. When in doubt, pass the puck.
  22. The rink is where I feel alive.
  23. I don’t always play hockey, but when I do, I win.
  24. Hockey is not just a game, it’s a battle.
  25. Skating towards my dreams, one game at a time.
  26. When life gets tough, lace up your skates and hit the ice.
  27. There’s nothing like the sound of blades on ice.
  28. Hockey: where toughness meets finesse.
  29. The ice never forgets your hard work.
  30. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
  31. Hockey is not a game, it’s an adventure.
  32. The ice is my canvas, and my stick is my brush.
  33. It’s not the size of the player, but the size of the heart that counts.
  34. Hockey is a way of life, not just a game.
  35. The rink is where I leave it all behind.
  36. Hockey: where heroes are made and legends are born.
  37. The ice is calling, and I must skate.

Hockey Jokes for Kids

Hockey Jokes for Kids:

  1. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
  2. What do you call a snowman playing hockey? Slap Frosty.
  3. What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “You make me feel so slap-happy!”
  4. Why did the hockey player wear a helmet at the dinner table? He was afraid the forks would slash!
  5. Why do hockey players drink hot chocolate instead of iced tea? Because they prefer to be in a constant state of icing.
  6. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit near the fans.
  7. What do you call a sleeping hockey player? A power nap.
  8. What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a rodeo cowboy? A high-sticking bronco.
  9. Why did the hockey player break up with his girlfriend? She was always icing him.
  10. Why did the cookie go to the hockey game? It wanted to see the icing!

NHL Try Not To Laugh!

Hockey Jokes for Adults

Hockey Jokes for Adults:

  1. Why was the hockey arena so cold? Because there were a lot of fans.
  2. How do you make a small fortune in hockey? Start with a large one.
  3. Why did the hockey player refuse to wear a jersey? He didn’t want to get a penalty for cross-dressing.
  4. What do hockey players do in the off-season? They play roller derby.
  5. How do you know when a hockey player has a girlfriend? When he gets a penalty for hooking.
  6. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because real men prefer ice in their drinks.
  7. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to reach the high-sticking penalty box.
  8. What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a politician? A slap shot that never goes in.
  9. Why don’t hockey players do well in school? They always get penalized for high-sticking.
  10. Why did the hockey player get a job at the bank? He knew how to handle checks.

Hockey Dad Jokes

Hockey Dad Jokes:

  1. Why was the hockey arena so hot? Because all the fans left.
  2. Why did the hockey player bring an umbrella to the game? In case of a power play.
  3. How do you know if a hockey player is married? He’s always looking for an assist.
  4. Why do hockey players like to play in the dark? So they can’t see the icing.
  5. Why did the hockey player bring a calculator to the game? To keep track of his slap shots.
  6. What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a chef? A penalty box of gravy.
  7. Why do hockey players always win in poker? Because they have a lot of chips on their shoulders.
  8. Why do hockey players wear numbers on their jerseys? So their moms can recognize them.
  9. Why don’t hockey players like to eat toast? They always get penalized for high-sticking.
  10. Why did the hockey player put his stick in the fridge? He wanted to score a cool goal.

Funny Hockey Jokes

Funny Hockey Jokes:

  1. Why did the hockey player refuse to take a shower? He didn’t want to be called for interference.
  2. What do you call a bear playing hockey? A slap-happy grizzly.
  3. How do you know if a hockey player is smart? When he doesn’t get penalized for high-sticking.
  4. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his checking account.
  5. Why don’t hockey players like to play hide-and-seek? They always get called for checking.
  6. What do you call a hockey player who only scores on his own team? An own-goalie.
  7. Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of socks to the game? In case he got a hat trick.
  8. Why don’t hockey players like to wear watches? They prefer to keep their own time on the ice.
  9. Why did the hockey player bring a lawn chair to the game? He wanted to watch the ice melt.
  10. Why do hockey players make terrible actors? They always break character for a slap shot.

Hockey Pranks and Jokes

Hockey Bender Jokes

Hockey Bender Jokes:

  1. Why was the hockey player such a bad dresser? Because he was always in the penalty box for high-sticking.
  2. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A bender.
  3. How many hockey players does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just check the ice and go back to the bench.
  4. Why did the hockey player go to jail? He was caught icing the goalie.
  5. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.
  6. Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a puck in the shorts.
  7. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because they prefer their beverages on ice.
  8. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
  9. What do you call a hockey player who doesn’t shower? Stinky mitts.
  10. Why did the hockey player quit his job at the ice cream shop? He couldn’t stop topping the cones.

Field Hockey Puns

Field Hockey Puns:

  1. Why did the field hockey player carry a whistle? So she could blow her own horn.
  2. What do you call a field hockey player with a good sense of humor? A laugh-a-stick.
  3. Why did the field hockey team go to the bank? To get their penalty corners.
  4. How do field hockey players stay in touch? They stick together.
  5. Why did the field hockey player wear two shirts? Because she was afraid of getting a stick.
  6. What do you call a field hockey player who loves to garden? A stick-tiller.
  7. Why did the field hockey player bring her passport to the game? Because she heard they were playing international rules.
  8. What do you call a field hockey player who never misses a game? A stick-to-it-ive player.
  9. Why did the field hockey player bring a frying pan to the game? To cook up some goals.
  10. What do you call a field hockey player who takes too long to shoot? A drag flicker.

Ice Hockey Jokes and Puns

Ice Hockey Jokes and Puns:

  1. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the ice rink on the other side.
  2. What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “You complete me.”
  3. Why don’t ice hockey players drink tea? Because real men prefer their beverages on ice.
  4. What do you call a polar bear at a hockey game? A cold-blooded goalie.
  5. Why did the hockey player get a ticket? He was caught icing.
  6. How does a hockey player keep his hair in place during the game? With a penalty box.
  7. What do you call a hockey player who breaks his stick? A toothpick.
  8. Why did the hockey player bring an extra pair of gloves to the game? In case he got a penalty shot.
  9. What do you call a group of hockey players who sing together? A chorus line.
  10. Why did the hockey player put his skates in the washing machine? To give them a power play.

FAQs – Hockey Jokes & Puns

What are some good hockey jokes?

Good Hockey Jokes:

  1. Why was the hockey arena so cold? Because there were so many fans!
  2. What do you call a hockey player who doesn’t take a shower? Stinky!
  3. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score!
  4. What do you call a snowman in a hockey mask? Frosty the Goon!
  5. Why do hockey players always bring a pencil to the game? In case they get a hat trick!
  6. Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hat trick!
  7. How do you know if a hockey player is rich? He’s got a Zamboni in his driveway!
  8. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other ice rink!
  9. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie? The hockey player showers after three periods!
  10. Why did the hockey player quit school? He couldn’t pass the ice!
  11. What’s a hockey player’s favorite meal? Slapshot!
  12. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They stay near the fans!
  13. Why do hockey players love playing in empty arenas? Because they always win by a shutout!
  14. Why did the hockey player take his skates to bed? So he could have sweet dreams!
  15. What do you call a group of hockey players that never win a game? The Puck-er Uppers!
  16. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  17. What’s a hockey player’s favorite part of a chicken? The slap shot!
  18. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? They prefer to drink iced tea!
  19. Why was the hockey rink so hot after the game? All the fans had left!
  20. How does a hockey player stay warm in the penalty box? He sits on the heater!
  21. Why did the hockey player go to jail? Because he was caught icing!
  22. What do you call a hockey player who gets a hat trick while wearing a cowboy hat? The Calgary Stampede!
  23. What did the hockey player say when he scored the winning goal? “Icing on the cake!”
  24. Why do hockey players wear jerseys with numbers on them? So they can keep score!
  25. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of fish? A puck-leback!
  26. Why do hockey players hate playing against penguins? Because they always slide on the ice!
  27. How do hockey players make a phone call? They use the ice phone!
  28. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A penalty!
  29. Why do hockey players wear helmets? So they don’t get hat hair!
  30. What did the hockey player say when he was asked if he liked the cold weather? “I’m a fan!”
  31. Why do hockey players make great criminals? Because they’re always on the ice!
  32. Why don’t hockey players like math? They prefer to score goals!
  33. What’s a hockey player’s favorite car? A Zamboni!
  34. How do you know if a hockey player is married? He has a puck ring!
  35. What do you call a hockey player who misses the net? A shot in the dark!

What are the best hockey jokes?

Best Hockey Jokes:

  1. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his goalie pads!
  2. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To climb the leaderboard!
  3. What do you call a hockey player with three goals in one game? A hat-trickster!
  4. What do you call a hockey player with three goals in one game? A hat-trickster!
  5. Why did the hockey player break up with his girlfriend? She was always icing him!
  6. What do you call a group of hockey players with bad breath? The Stinky Sticks!
  7. Why don’t hockey players drink coffee? It makes them too jumpy on the ice!
  8. How do hockey players stay warm during a game? They get in the penalty box, it’s always 2 minutes for heating!
  9. Why did the hockey player go to the dentist? He needed a toothpick!
  10. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of cake? Puck cake!
  11. Why don’t hockey players wear cowboy boots on the ice? Because they would be slippery!
  12. Why did the hockey player bring a hammer to the game? To score a hat trick!
  13. How do hockey players take their coffee? On ice!
  14. What do you call a hockey player who can’t score? A net loss!
  15. Why did the hockey player bring a parachute to the game? He wanted to score an air goal!
  16. What do you call a hockey player who has no girlfriend? A puck bachelor!
  17. Why did the hockey player bring a GPS to the game? To help him find the net!
  18. How do you make a hockey player smile? You score a goal!
  19. What do you call a hockey player with no legs? A Stanley Cup!
  20. Why don’t hockey players use elevators? They prefer to take the faceoff!
  21. How do you know if a hockey player is hungry? He’s always looking for a breakaway!
  22. What do you call a hockey player who’s always injured? A body check!
  23. Why did the hockey player bring his dog to the game? To play fetch with the puck!
  24. How do you know if a hockey player is good at golf? He can score a hole in one-timer!
  25. Why do hockey players never share their sticks? They’re always trying to score!
  26. What’s a hockey player’s favorite movie? Ice Age!
  27. Why do hockey players love playing on the road? They always get the home ice advantage!
  28. How do you know if a hockey player is smart? He scores with his head!
  29. Why don’t hockey players use calculators? They prefer to use the power play!
  30. What do you call a hockey player who loves chocolate? A puck-a-holic!
  31. Why do hockey players never go to the circus? They don’t want to see the Flying Pucks!
  32. How do hockey players get to the rink? They take the slapshot!
  33. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate backwards? A back-checker!
  34. Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? To find his way to the goal!
  35. What do you call a hockey player who has lost his memory? A forget-puck!

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