207+ Nut Jokes & Puns [Nutty Jokes]

Nut jokes and puns, also known as nutty jokes, are a form of humor that revolves around nuts, both literally and figuratively.

These jokes often play on the double meanings of the word “nut” as well as the quirky and amusing aspects of various types of nuts.

Here are some characteristics of nut jokes and puns:

Wordplay: Nutty jokes often involve clever wordplay, using puns and double entendres related to nuts. They might play on the names of different types of nuts, such as almonds, peanuts, or cashews, or incorporate nut-related phrases, such as “nuts about you” or “going nuts.”
Nut-related situations: These jokes may use nutty scenarios or situations that are humorous or absurd, such as squirrels hoarding nuts or nut-based recipes gone wrong.
Double meanings: Nut jokes often use the double meaning of “nut” as both a type of food and a slang term for a crazy or eccentric person. This can lead to amusing misunderstandings or humorous situations.
Light-hearted humor: Nutty jokes are typically light-hearted and inoffensive, making them suitable for various audiences. They often focus on the silly or absurd rather than dark or controversial humor.
Simplicity: Many nut jokes are short and simple, making them easy to remember and share with others. They often follow classic joke formats, such as one-liners, knock-knock jokes, or question-and-answer jokes.
Visual puns: In addition to verbal humor, nutty jokes can involve visual puns or illustrations that play on the appearance or characteristics of different nuts.
Inclusiveness: Nut jokes often incorporate various types of nuts, making them relatable to a wide range of people who enjoy or are familiar with different nuts. They can also be adapted or modified to include other types of food or ingredients, expanding their appeal even further.

Overall, nut jokes and puns are a light-hearted and amusing form of humor that appeals to a wide range of audiences.

They often involve clever wordplay, nut-related scenarios, and double meanings, making them a fun and engaging way to share a laugh with others.

We have hundreds of nut jokes and puns in this article.

Let’s get crackin’!

Table of Contents

Nut Jokes

Here are 20+ nut jokes for you:

Why was the walnut afraid to go to the party? Because it was a little nutty.
What did the peanut say when it was walking down the street? I’m feeling roasted!
Why did the pistachio break up with the cashew? Because it was nuts about someone else.
How do you make a walnut laugh? Crack it up!
Why did the pecan go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
What do you get when you cross a walnut and a pickle? A “dill-icious” nut!
What do you call a nut that’s always happy? A pistachio!
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Why did the squirrel cross the road? To get to the nut shop on the other side.
What’s the best way to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What do you call a nut that won’t give up? A coconut!
Why did the peanut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little crunchy.
What do you get when you cross a nut with a tree? A treenut!
What do you call a nut that’s always in a hurry? A peanut!
Why did the almond go to the gym? To get a little nut-ricious workout!
What do you call a nut that’s afraid of the dark? A scaredy-cashew!
Why did the peanut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little shell-shocked!
What do you call a nut that’s been knighted? Sir Walnut!
Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little cracked!
What do you call a nut that’s a real smooth talker? A hazelnut!
Why did the nut go to school? To become a well-rounded individual!
What do you call a nut that’s always at the gym? A muscle macadamia!
What do you call a nut that’s always tired? A snooze-almond!

Nut Puns

Here are 20+ nut puns for you:

I’m going to cashew later!
Don’t go pecan my interest.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry!
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I’m going to cashew!
You hazelnut seen anything yet!
The nut factory accident was awful, but it’s okay, they’ll bounce back.
Walnut a minute, I need to think.
Why did the walnut go to the doctor? It was feeling a little nutty!
I can’t pistachio enough how much I love these puns.
Almond everything I can for you.
Let’s macadamia puns all day long.
I’m just nutty about you!
Sorry to be a little squirrelly, but I can’t help myself.
When the acorn was asked if it had any experience, it said, “I have a-lotta-oak-ay.”
Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
That’s nuts!
I walnut let these puns end.
You’re the apple of my almond.
Let’s have a nutty good time!
Don’t be afraid to take a cashew, it’s okay to be a little nutty.
The squirrel was so hungry he could eat a whole nutty professor!
I hazelnut idea what I’m doing, but I’m going to keep going anyway!
Did you hear about the squirrel that was afraid of heights? He was a low branch nut.
These puns are nuttin’ but the best!
Let’s get cracking on these puns!

Nut puns 🥜 #jokes

Most Funny Nut Jokes

Here are 10 funny nut jokes:

Why was the walnut always invited to parties? Because it was a real “nut-cracker.”
What do you call a nut that’s afraid of the dark? A hazel-“nut.”
Why did the peanut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little “nuts.”
How does a squirrel feel when it steals a nut? Acorn-y.
What do you call a nut that’s not polite? A cash-“rude.”
Why did the pistachio break up with the walnut? It said they were too “nutty” for each other.
What do you call a nut that’s a member of the royal family? A “nut-tingham.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a peanut? Frosty-nuts.
Why did the nut go to school? To become a “smarty-nut.”
How do you make a walnut laugh? Crack it up!

Best Nut Jokes

Here are some nut jokes for you:

Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that likes to be alone? A walnut.
Why did the pistachio go to jail? Because it was a little nutty.
Why did the peanut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling shellfish.
How do you know if a squirrel is having a bad day? It starts cracking nuts with its teeth.
What’s the difference between a squirrel and a nut? A squirrel can climb a tree, but a nut can’t.
Why did the acorn fall out of the tree? It was a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that’s afraid of heights? A lowbrow.
Why did the macadamia nut go to school? To get a degree in nut-trition.
What’s a nut’s favorite kind of dance? The Nutcracker.
Why did the cashew go to the doctor? It was feeling a little nutty.
What do you get when you cross a walnut and a cashew? A wacashew.
Why did the hazelnut go to the doctor? It was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that’s been knighted? Sir Nutsalot.
Why did the almond go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that’s always complaining? A whine nut.
Why did the peanut butter get stuck to the roof of your mouth? Because it was trying to avoid being eaten by a nutcracker.
What did one nut say to the other when it was feeling sick? “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll feel butter soon.”
Why did the peanut butter go to the gym? To get extra chunky.
What did the nut say when it went to the psychiatrist? “I feel like I’m going nuts!”

Nutcracker Puns

Nutcracker Puns:

Did you hear about the nutcracker who got into a fight with a walnut? He gave it a good crackin’.
Why did the nutcracker refuse to open the pistachio? It was too hard to crack.
What do you call a nutcracker who’s good at math? A fraction cracker.
How does a nutcracker send a letter? He uses a crack and seal envelope.
Did you hear about the nutcracker who went on a diet? He was trying to get a little nut-thin’.
Why did the nutcracker go to the doctor? He had a bad case of shell shock.
What did the nutcracker say when he met the walnut for the first time? “Let’s get crackin’!”
How does a nutcracker stay in shape? He does plenty of pecan-ercises.
What do you call a nutcracker who loves to dance? A ballet nut.
Why did the nutcracker visit the therapist? He was feeling a bit cracked up.
How does a nutcracker get around town? He drives a shellmobile.
Why did the nutcracker quit his job? He felt like he was stuck in a rut.
How does a nutcracker start a conversation? He opens with a cracking joke.
What did the nutcracker say to the walnut when they first met? “Don’t be shellfish.”
Why did the nutcracker cross the road? To get to the other pecan tree.
What did the nutcracker say to the almond? “You’re driving me nuts!”
How does a nutcracker make a phone call? He uses a crack-dial.
What did the nutcracker say when he met the hazelnut? “I’ve heard you’re a tough nut to crack, but I’m up for the challenge!”

Cashew Jokes

Here are 20+ cashew jokes for you:

Why did the cashew go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
Why did the cashew cross the road? To get to the other nut.
What do you get when you cross a cashew with a potato? A cashew-tato.
What did the cashew say when it sneezed? “Cashew!”
How do you make a cashew laugh? You tell it a good nut pun.
Why was the cashew afraid of the almond? Because the almond was a little nutty.
What did the cashew say when it was asked to be in a nut butter commercial? “I’m nuts about this idea!”
How does a cashew get rid of a headache? By taking a nut-ache pill.
Why did the cashew get kicked out of the nut bar? Because it was causing too much of a ruckus.
What do you call a group of cashews? A nutty bunch.
Why did the cashew go to the party? To get roasted.
How do you know if a cashew is happy? It cracks a smile.
Why did the cashew go to school? To become a smart nut.
What do you get when you cross a cashew with a hazelnut? A cashelnut.
Why don’t cashews like to go on roller coasters? Because they’re afraid of being roasted.
How do you make a cashew roll on the floor laughing? You tickle its nut.
Why did the cashew put on a suit? It was going to a nutcracker performance.
What did the cashew say to the walnut? “You’re not as nutty as me.”
What do you call a cashew that won’t share? Shellfish.
Why did the cashew need a vacation? It was feeling a little roasted out.
What do you call a cashew that’s feeling a bit down? A sad nut.
How do you make a cashew cry? By telling it a sad nut story.

Good Nut Jokes

Here are 15+ nut jokes for you:

Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty!
What do you call a nut who is always complaining? A cashew.
What did the nut say when it sneezed? Cashew!
What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astronut.
Why did the pistachio go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little shell-shocked.
What do you call a nut that can drive a car? A hazelnut.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car? To get to the nut under the hood.
What’s a nut’s favorite hobby? Playing with its shell phone.
How does a peanut feel about going to the dentist? It’s nuts about it.
What do you call a nut that can’t walk? A walnut.
Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans? Because their nuts won’t fit.
What do you call a nut that’s good at math? An almon-diac.
Why did the peanut butter get a restraining order? Because it was being a little too nutty.
How do you make a walnut laugh? Tickling its shell.
What did the nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it? I’m going to cashew!
Why did the almond go to the gym? To become a real muscle nut.

Funny Nut Puns

Funny Nut Puns:

I’m nuts about you!
I’m going to cashew later.
Let’s give ’em something to hazel-nut about.
I’m going to take a quick pea-nut break.
It’s time to nut up or shut up.
That’s a tough nut to crack.
You’re driving me nutty!
Let’s go a little nuts.
That’s nuts!
Don’t go too nutty on me.
I’m feeling a little nutty today.
I’m feeling cashew-lly today.
Let’s crack a few jokes.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the macadamia tree.
You’re the apple of my pie, the peanut butter to my jelly.
I’m nuts for puns.
You’re the salt to my pistachio.
You’re my sweetie pie with a nutty crust.
I’m feeling like a nut in a shell.
You’re a tough nut to resist.

Walnut Jokes

Walnut Jokes:

Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little cracked.
What did the walnut say to the cashew? “You’re not as nutty as me.”
What did the walnut say when it met the pistachio? “I’m nuts about you.”
Why did the walnut refuse to go to the party? Because it was already shelled out.
How do you know when a walnut is ripe? When it falls off the tree.
Why did the walnut tree go to the dentist? To get its cavity filled.
Why did the walnut go to the gym? To work on its core.
Why did the walnut go to the nutcracker ballet? To see its cousin perform.
How do you make a walnut laugh? You tell it a good nut pun.
What do you call a walnut that’s in love? A smitten nut.
What did the walnut say when it won the race? “I’m the nuttiest of them all!”
Why did the walnut break up with the hazelnut? Because the hazelnut was a little nutty.
What do you call a walnut that’s feeling down? A sad nut.
Why did the walnut cross the road? To get to the nut store on the other side.
How do you make a walnut smile? You give it a hug.
What do you call a group of walnuts? A nutty bunch.
What did the walnut say to the almond? “You’re a little nutty, but I still love you.”
Why did the walnut go to the art museum? To see the nutty paintings.
What do you get when you cross a walnut with a peanut? A wal-peanut.
How do you know when a walnut is telling a lie? When it’s shell-shocked.

Nut Jokes One-Liners

Nut Jokes One-Liners:

Why did the nut go to the doctor? It was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that’s not cool? A cashewt.
What do you call a nut that’s in charge? A walnut.
What do you call a nut that’s always late? A hazelnut.
Why did the nut get a job as a cashier? It was good at counting.
What did one nut say to the other nut at the gym? “I’m going to go get a little pecan.”
What do you call a nut that’s a big fan of Elvis Presley? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Why did the nut break up with the tree? It was getting too attached.
What do you call a nut that’s a little bit paranoid? A squirrel.
Why did the nut get in trouble at school? It was caught throwing acorns.
What do you call a nut that’s always happy? A macadamia.
Why did the nut go to school? It wanted to be a smart cookie.
What do you call a nut that’s always complaining? A pistachio.
Why did the nut get a job as a comedian? It was good at cracking jokes.
What do you call a nut that’s always running late? A procrastinut.
What did the nut say when it was caught stealing? “I didn’t mean to shell out for this.”
Why did the nut go on a diet? It was feeling a little too salty.
What do you call a nut that’s a little bit nutty? A hazelnut.
Why did the nut get kicked out of the library? It was caught reading a dirty book.
What did one nut say to the other nut when they were both stuck in traffic? “We’re nuts for being here!”

Dad Jokes About Nuts

Dad Jokes About Nuts:

Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car? He wanted to see if it had any nuts and bolts.
Why did the walnut go to the doctor? It was feeling a little nutty.
Why don’t squirrels ever get lost? Because they always have a lot of acorn-sense.
Why did the squirrel cross the road? To get to the nut shop on the other side.
What’s the difference between a cashew and a walnut? One is nuts, and the other is even nuttier.
Why did the nut go to the hospital? It was feeling a little chestnutty.
What do you call a nut that’s always in a rush? A hazel-nut.
Why did the squirrel use his credit card to buy nuts? He didn’t want to go over his cashew limit.
Why did the nut go to the doctor again? It was still feeling a little nutty.
What do you get when you cross a walnut and a banana? A split personality.
Why did the nut go to the police station? It was a victim of a salt and battery.
Why did the squirrel buy an umbrella? To keep his nuts dry.
What do you call a nut that likes to play tricks? A prank-a-nut.
Why did the nut go to the beach? To get a little sunflower.
Why did the nut go to the gym? To get a little peanut muscle.
What do you call a nut that loves to clean? A scrub-a-nut.
Why did the nut go to the therapist? It was having a tough time.
Why did the nut take up gardening? It wanted to grow its own almonds.
Why did the squirrel go to the dentist? It had a cavity in its nut.
What do you call a nut that’s always getting into trouble? A rebel without a cashew.
Why did the nut go to the movies? It wanted to see the latest film in the Nutty Professor series.
What do you call a nut that’s a great dancer? A nutcracker.
Why did the nut go to the bar? It was feeling a little shaken, not stirred.
Why did the squirrel go to the therapist? It was having trouble with its nut stash.
What do you call a nut that likes to dance? A maca-dancing-nut.
Why did the nut go to the hospital for the third time? It was still feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that’s always angry? A hot-headed hazelnut.
Why did the nut go to the tailor? It wanted to get a new suit, a cashew-alike.
What do you call a nut that’s always giving advice? A wise-almond.
Why did the nut go to the airport? It was going on a nut-cation.

Peanut Puns

Here are 18 peanut puns:

Why did the peanut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
What did one peanut say to the other when they were on a long journey together? We’re really on a roll.
What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astro-nut.
What do you get when you cross a peanut with an elephant? Peanut butter.
Why don’t peanuts tell jokes? Because they’re afraid they’ll crack up.
What did the peanut say when it got a job as a detective? I’ll crack this case!
Why did the peanut go to the art museum? To see the peanut gallery.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up.
What do you get when you cross a peanut with a cow? Peanut butter and jelly.
Why don’t peanuts ever get in trouble? Because they know how to mind their own shell-ves.
What do you call a peanut that doesn’t want to be eaten? A shellfish.
Why did the peanut quit its job? Because it was getting roasted.
How do you know if a peanut likes you? It shells you.
Why did the peanut go to the doctor? It was feeling a little roasted.
What do you call a peanut that’s been through a shredder? Peanut butter.
What do you call a peanut that’s been in a car accident? A peanut brittle.
Why did the peanut cross the road? To get to the other nut.
What do you call a peanut that’s wearing a bowtie? A snazzy snack.

Nutty Puns

Here are 17 nutty puns:

Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty!
What do you call a nutty squirrel? A little nutcase!
Did you hear about the cashew who threw a party? It was a real nut bash!
Why did the pistachio go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little cracked up!
What do you call a nut that won’t share? Shellfish!
Did you hear about the peanut who got a job as a bellhop? It was a nutty career move!
Why did the macadamia nut go to the gym? To get a little nutty and fit!
What did the walnut say when it was being chased? “I’m going nuts!”
What do you call an almond in space? An astro-nut!
Why did the hazelnut refuse to run in the race? It was afraid of being hazel-nut!
What do you call a nut that’s a pessimist? A down-in-the-dumps hazelnut!
Why did the pecan go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty and unwell!
What do you get when you cross a nut and a flower? A cashew-tulip!
Why did the peanut butter go to the doctor? It was feeling a little jelly!
What do you call a nutty cow? A pecan moo!
What do you call a nut that’s really good at math? A calculating walnut!
Why did the acorn go to the psychiatrist? Because it had an oak-ward complex!

FAQs – Nut Puns

What are some jokes about nuts?

Here are some nut-related jokes for you:

Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. What do you call a fake nut? A pistachio.
Why did the peanut go to the police station? It was a-salted.
Why did the hazelnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit nutty.
What do you call a nut that’s afraid of heights? Acrophobic almonds.
Why did the almond go to the doctor? Because it had a split personality.
What did one nut say when it chased another nut? I’m a cashew!
Why don’t pistachios ever get in trouble? Because they’re always in their shells.

I hope these jokes make you crack a smile!

What’s a good list of nut jokes?

Here are a few examples if you’re looking for puns or wordplay related to nuts:

Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a snowman? Frosty Nuts.
Why did the peanut go to the police station? Because it was a-salted.
Why did the nutty chipmunk break up with the hazelnut? Because it was too nutty.
What do you call a nut that’s always getting into trouble? A pecan-thief.

What are some puns that have nuts in them?

Here are some nutty puns:

Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the peanut factory? They took a handful of peanuts.
I used to be afraid of the dark. But then I learned that it’s just the absence of light almonds.
What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astronut.
Why did the cashew go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little roasted.
What did the nut say when it sneezed? Cashew!
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts? A squirrel that’s going to the store to buy some more.

Conclusion

Nut jokes and puns, also known as “nutty jokes,” typically revolve around wordplay involving the multiple meanings of the word “nut.”

Here are some common characteristics of nut jokes and puns:

Double meanings: Nutty jokes rely on the multiple meanings of the word “nut.” For example, “What did the walnut say when it was surprised? Cashew!”
Wordplay: These jokes often involve wordplay, such as puns or homophones. For example, “Why don’t pistachios ever get lonely? Because they’re always in their shells.”
Surprise endings: The punchline of nutty jokes often includes a surprise ending, which catches the listener off-guard and causes them to laugh.
Absurdity: Many nutty jokes are intentionally absurd, such as “Why did the squirrel go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nuts!”
Playful humor: Nut jokes and puns tend to be lighthearted and playful, making them a popular form of humor for all ages.

Overall, nutty jokes and puns are a fun and clever way to play with language and bring a smile to someone’s face.

Cartoon Characters Names

207+ Nut Jokes & Puns [Nutty Jokes]

Nut Jokes