237+ Cop Jokes [Police Jokes]

Cop jokes, also known as police jokes, are a type of humor that typically revolves around the men and women who work in law enforcement.

These jokes often play on the stereotypes and characteristics commonly associated with police officers, and are meant to be light-hearted and entertaining.

Some of the common characteristics of cop jokes include:

• Use of police jargon: Cop jokes often use police-specific terms and phrases, such as “perp” (short for perpetrator) and “cuffs” (short for handcuffs), to create a sense of authenticity and humor.
• Stereotypes of police officers: Cop jokes often play on common stereotypes of police officers, such as their love of donuts, their tendency to give speeding tickets, and their authoritarian personalities.
• Use of irony: Many cop jokes rely on irony to create humor. For example, a joke might involve a police officer who is supposed to be enforcing the law, but is actually breaking it in some way.
• Emphasis on absurdity: Cop jokes often rely on absurd scenarios or situations to create humor. For example, a joke might involve a police officer chasing a suspect on a unicycle, or a police car getting stuck in a tree.

Overall, cop jokes are meant to be lighthearted and entertaining, and are a way for people to poke fun at the sometimes serious and intense work of law enforcement.

However, it’s important to remember that police officers are people too, and deserve respect and appreciation for the difficult and important work that they do.

We look at hundreds of cop jokes in this article.

Cop Jokes

Cop Jokes:

1. Why do police officers like donuts so much? Because they’re always on a stakeout!
2. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To get some undercover dressing!
3. Why did the police officer go to the amusement park? To ride the cop-ter rollercoaster!
4. Why do police officers wear blue? Because red and yellow would make them look like McDonald’s employees!
5. Why did the police officer ticket the ghost? For speeding through a red light!
6. Why did the police officer arrest the broom? It was sweeping the nation!
7. Why did the police officer bring a ladder to the crime scene? To investigate a high-level crime!
8. Why did the police officer get a ticket? For parking his car in the donut shop!
9. Why did the police officer arrest the refrigerator? For chilling the evidence!
10. Why did the police officer go to the dentist? To get a filling!
11. Why did the police officer go to the pet store? To get a K-9!
12. Why did the police officer arrest the mirror? It was reflecting on its past!
13. Why did the police officer ticket the elephant? For parking in a no-parking zone!
14. Why did the police officer go to the aquarium? To investigate a fishy case!
15. Why did the police officer go to the football game? To tackle crime!
16. Why did the police officer go to the beach? To catch some criminals!
17. Why did the police officer go to the circus? To see the ring leader!
18. Why did the police officer go to the bakery? To get a cop cake!
19. Why did the police officer ticket the tomato? For running a red light!
20. Why did the police officer go to the airport? To investigate a plane crime!
21. Why did the police officer go to the museum? To solve a historical mystery!
22. Why did the police officer go to the zoo? To investigate a monkey business!
23. Why did the police officer ticket the tree? For parking in a fire lane!
24. Why did the police officer go to the movie theater? To investigate a crime scene!
25. Why did the police officer arrest the violin? It was fiddling around!
26. Why did the police officer go to the barbershop? To get a buzz cut!
27. Why did the police officer arrest the banana? It was peeling out!
28. Why did the police officer go to the fashion show? To investigate a designer crime!
29. Why did the police officer go to the car dealership? To investigate a carjacking!
30. Why did the police officer go to the farm? To catch a chicken thief!
31. Why did the police officer ticket the ice? For being too cold!
32. Why did the police officer go to the concert? To catch a music thief!
33. Why did the police officer go to the supermarket? To investigate a grocery store robbery!
34. Why did the police officer ticket the muffler? For making too much noise!
35. Why did the police officer go to the golf course? To investigate a hole in one!
36. Why did the police officer go to the casino? To catch a card cheat!
37. Why did the police officer go to the hospital? To catch a fake doctor!
38. Why did the police officer ticket the computer? For hacking into a secure network!
39. Why did the police officer go to the mall? To investigate a shoplifting incident!
40. Why did the police officer go to the gym? To catch a weightlifter!

Cop Puns

Cop Puns:

1. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To get a suspect!
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
3. Why did the police officer ticket the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license.
4. I got pulled over by a cop on a horse. I guess you could say I was “neighing” the speed limit.
5. What do you call a cop who loves math? An arithmetic cop.
6. What do you get when you cross a police officer with a skunk? Law and odor.
7. Why did the cop break up with his girlfriend? She kept stealing his beat.
8. What do you call a detective who can’t solve a case? A private “eye-sore”.
9. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
10. Why did the cop arrest the man who owned a meat store? He was caught beating his meat.
11. What do you call a group of robbers? A thiefdom.
12. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
13. What do you call a sleeping police officer? A dozer.
14. Why don’t cops tell jokes? They always get their punchlines in handcuffs.
15. Why did the police officer put his badge in the freezer? He wanted to cool down the heat.
16. What do you call a police officer in a bee costume? Buzz enforcement.
17. Why did the police officer go to the seance? To raise a spirit of the law.
18. Why do cops make bad DJs? They always put their hands up.
19. What do you call a cop who works at Starbucks? A java-cop.
20. Why did the cop carry a pencil and a piece of very thin paper? He was undercover.
21. What did the police officer say when he was chasing a clown? “You’re under a vest!”
22. Why don’t ghosts get arrested? They’re not visible enough.
23. What do you call a cop who is addicted to Twitter? A tweet cop.
24. What do you call a cop who is always on his phone? A cellular cop.
25. Why did the cop take up gardening? He wanted to plant evidence.
26. Why do cops always wear blue? They need a hue for the badge.
27. What do you call a cop who is also a pilot? A sky cop.
28. Why did the cop cross the road? To get to the donut shop on the other side.
29. What do you call a cop who loves to dance? A disco-cop.
30. Why don’t cops like playing cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
31. What did the police officer say to the criminal who stole his coffee? “You’re under a roast!”
32. Why do cops wear badges? It’s a sign of their authority and they don’t want to be mistaken for robbers.
33. What do you call a police officer who is also a rapper? An MC Police.
34. Why did the police officer get a job at KFC? He wanted to catch chicken thieves.
35. What did the police officer say to the hot dog vendor? “You’re under a bun!”
36. Why did the police officer arrest the clown? He was juggling too many charges.
37. What do you call a cop who loves to sing in the shower? A soap opera.
38. Why did the police officer join the circus? He wanted to learn the ropes.

News Anchor Laughs At Worst Police Sketch Fail (News Blooper)

Police Jokes

Police Jokes:

1. Why did the police officer go to art school? To learn how to draw his weapon.
2. What did the police officer say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
3. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To get a cop of coffee.
4. How does a police officer stay cool during a heatwave? They turn on their siren-ade.
5. Why did the police officer start reading Shakespeare? To catch the criminals, he needed to learn how to apprehend a thief.
6. Why did the police officer bring a ladder to the crime scene? To climb the ranks.
7. What do you call a police officer who works at night? An after-cop.
8. Why did the police officer go to the pet store? To get a K-9 partner.
9. Why did the police officer go to the party? To bust a move.
10. How does a police officer make a pot of tea? They stir in some crook-a–.

Police Puns

Police Puns:

1. I told a police officer a joke about sodium. He didn’t react, but then I said, “Na, police jokes are usually better received.”
2. Did you hear about the police officer who was caught stealing things? He was arrested by himself.
3. Why did the police officer arrest the computer? It had a hard drive.
4. I’m friends with a police officer who’s also a baker. He’s got a real donut-enforcement mentality.
5. What do you call a police officer who’s also a magician? A copperfield.
6. What do you call a police officer who’s also a pilot? A heli-copper.
7. I asked a police officer if he knew how to do the Floss dance. He said, “I only know how to do the arrest.”
8. What do you call a police officer who’s also a barber? A buzz-officer.
9. Did you hear about the police officer who got a nose job? He’s now working undercover.
10. What do you call a police officer who loves to garden? A cop-plant enthusiast.

Dad Jokes About Cops

Dad Jokes About Cops:

1. Why did the police officer go to the movie theater? To see the police-drama.
2. Why do police officers always carry a spare tire in the trunk of their car? In case they have to chase a donut truck.
3. Why don’t police officers like to eat donuts? Because they’re always on a stake-out.
4. What did the police officer say to the cat burglar? Stop paw-ssing through people’s windows.
5. Why did the police officer start playing the piano? He wanted to learn how to finger-print.
6. Why did the police officer visit the bank? To investigate a money-laundering scheme.
7. What do you call a police officer who’s also a musician? A copacabana.
8. Why did the police officer cross the road? To get to the doughnut shop on the other side.
9. What did the police officer say to the chicken crossing the road? Stop fowl play!
10. What do you call a police officer who’s also a chef? A sous-cop.

Cop Jokes – One-Liners

Cop Jokes – One-Liners:

1. How does a police officer make a sandwich? With a bread and battering ram.
2. What do you call a police officer who’s also a singer? An officer of the cord.
3. What do you call a police officer who’s also a pizza maker? A pepperon-i-cop.
4. Why did the police officer go to the hair salon? To get a felony cut.
5. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To get some cop-sicles.
6. What do you call a police officer who’s also a plumber? A leak enforcer.
7. Why don’t police officers like ghosts? They don’t like to be spooked on the job.
8. Why did the police officer go to the zoo? To investigate a gorilla robbery.
9. What do you call a police officer who’s also a magician? A law-bra-cadabra.
10. How does a police officer keep track of his diet? He writes down every criminal he’s booked in his calorie book.

Short Cop Jokes

Short Cop Jokes:

1. Why did the cop arrest the ghosts? Because they were “booooo”-sted.
2. Why did the cop bring a ladder to the crime scene? To climb up the ladder of success.
3. How does a cop know if a bee is breaking the law? They check for buzzed driving.
4. What did the cop say to his stomach? Stop! You have the right to remain silent.
5. Why did the cop go to the grocery store? To buy a pepper spray.
6. What do you call a cop who loves his job? A policemaniac.
7. Why did the cop pull over the computer? Because it had a virus.
8. Why did the cop join the band? He wanted to play the siren.
9. What did the cop say to the suspect who was trying to flee? “Don’t run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
10. Why did the cop get a ticket? He was caught speeding on his way to give someone else a ticket.

Fireman vs. Cop Jokes

Fireman vs. Cop Jokes:

1. What did the fireman say to the cop after they saved a cat from a tree? “Looks like I’m still the one who’s good with heights.”
2. Why do firemen make better lovers than cops? Because they know how to handle a hose.
3. What did the cop say to the fireman when they went out for a drink? “Let’s raise the bar.”
4. Why did the fireman invite the cop to the barbecue? To see if he could handle the heat.
5. Why did the cop call the fire department when he got stuck in a tree? He wanted to see if they could handle the rescue.
6. Why did the fireman go to the police station? To extinguish the burning passion between him and the cop.
7. Why did the cop invite the fireman to a game of cards? To see if he could handle the heat of the competition.
8. Why did the fireman challenge the cop to a foot race? To see who could put out the fire first.
9. Why did the cop and fireman both show up to a birthday party? They heard there was going to be a hot cake.
10. What did the cop say to the fireman when they got into a fight? “Looks like we’re about to get fired up.”

Sioux Falls Police vs. Fire – “Dad Jokes”

Detective Jokes

Detective Jokes:

1. Why did the detective go to the bakery? To investigate a floury fingerprint.
2. Why did the detective go to the pet store? To solve a catnapping case.
3. How many detectives does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just interrogate the bulb until it confesses.
4. What did the detective say to his wife? “I love you, but I think I love mysteries more.”
5. Why did the detective wear a trench coat? To keep his clues dry.
6. What did the detective say to the suspect? “You have the right to remain silent, but we hope you won’t.”
7. Why did the detective go to the gym? To investigate a case of stolen gains.
8. What did the detective say to the crime scene? “You’re under arrest for being too messy.”
9. Why did the detective get a dog? To sniff out clues.
10. What did the detective say when he solved the case? “Elementary, my dear Watson.”

Sheriff Jokes

Sheriff Jokes:

1. Why did the sheriff take a day off? He needed to deputize his thoughts.
2. What did the sheriff say to the cowboy? “Looks like it’s time to saddle up and round ’em up.”
3. Why did the sheriff go to the hardware store? To investigate a case of missing handcuffs.
4. Why did the sheriff hire a band? To play the jailhouse rock.
5. What did the sheriff say to the bank robber? “Stick ’em up, or stick ’em in jail.”
6. Why did the sheriff wear a cowboy hat? To give his badge some shade.
7. What did the sheriff say when he found a lost horse? “Looks like I’ll be the one riding shotgun.”
8. Why did the sheriff go to the library? To investigate a case of overdue books.
9. What did the sheriff say to the saloon owner? “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.”
10. Why did the sheriff go to the park? To investigate a case of stolen picnic baskets.

Long Cop Jokes

Some Long Cop Jokes:

Here are some long-form cop jokes:

1. A rookie cop was on patrol when he spotted a car driving erratically on the highway. He turned on his lights and pulled the car over. The driver was an elderly woman who appeared confused and disoriented. The cop asked her for her license and registration. After fumbling through her purse, the woman handed him an expired license and registration for a car that didn’t match the one she was driving. The cop asked her if she had been drinking, and the woman replied, “Oh, no, I haven’t had a drop since the accident.” The cop’s eyes widened and he asked, “What accident?” The woman replied, “The one where they cut off my leg!” The cop was horrified and asked her which leg was missing. The woman looked down at her legs and said, “I don’t know, they didn’t give me a receipt!”
2. A police officer was on patrol when he noticed a car speeding down the road. He quickly caught up to the car and pulled it over. The driver was a young man who appeared to be in a hurry. The cop asked him for his license and registration. The young man handed over his license, but he couldn’t find his registration. The cop noticed that the young man was sweating profusely and seemed nervous. The cop asked him if he had been drinking or using drugs. The young man said no, but the cop wasn’t convinced. He asked the young man to step out of the car and perform a sobriety test. The young man stumbled and failed the test. The cop then asked him if he had any drugs on him. The young man replied, “No, officer, I don’t have any drugs on me. But if you check the trunk, you’ll find a dead body.” The cop was stunned and immediately called for backup. When the backup arrived, they opened the trunk and found… a bag of groceries.
3. A police officer was on duty when he saw a man walking down the street with a penguin on a leash. The officer stopped the man and asked him what he was doing. The man replied, “I’m just taking my pet penguin for a walk.” The officer was skeptical and asked the man to show him some proof that the penguin was his pet. The man pulled out a certificate from the local zoo that stated that he had adopted the penguin. The officer was satisfied and let the man go. A few hours later, the officer saw the man walking down the street with the penguin again. This time, the penguin was wearing a police hat and holding a badge. The officer asked the man what was going on. The man replied, “Oh, he’s just helping me fight crime.”
4. A police officer was patrolling a residential neighborhood when he saw a man walking down the street with a large sack over his shoulder. The officer stopped the man and asked him what was in the sack. The man replied, “Just some chickens, officer.” The officer was suspicious and asked the man to open the sack. When the man did, the officer saw that it was filled with a dozen stolen watches. The officer arrested the man and took him to the station. Later that day, the officer received a call from the man’s lawyer. The lawyer said, “My client insists that he was carrying chickens, not stolen watches.” The officer replied, “Well, in that case, he must have stolen some pretty fancy chickens.”
5. A police officer was investigating a robbery at a jewelry store when he noticed a man standing outside the store, staring at the display case. The officer approached the man and asked him if he had seen anything suspicious. The man replied, “No, officer, I’m just waiting for my wife.” The officer was skeptical and asked the man if he had any identification. The man fumbled through his pockets and finally pulled out a driver’s license that had his picture and name on it. The officer looked at the license and then back at the man. “This license says your name is Michael Jackson,” the officer said. The man replied, “Yes, that’s my name.” The officer then noticed that the man was wearing a Thriller jacket and a single sequined glove. “Are you THE Michael Jackson?” the officer asked. The man replied, “No, officer, I’m just a fan.” The officer shook his head and said, “Well, in that case, Beat It!” and walked away.
6. A police officer was chasing a suspect through a park when he tripped and fell into a pond. As he struggled to get out of the water, a group of ducks swam up to him and started quacking loudly. The officer was confused and wondered if the ducks were trying to help him or distract him. Suddenly, he noticed that the suspect was standing on the other side of the pond, watching him. The officer called out, “Hey, you! Stop right there!” The suspect replied, “No way, officer, I’m not going back to jail!” The officer was determined to catch the suspect, but he didn’t want to get his uniform wet again. Suddenly, he got an idea. He started throwing pieces of bread at the ducks, who eagerly swam over to get them. As the ducks ate the bread, the officer was able to sneak up on the suspect and arrest him. The ducks honked in approval as the officer led the suspect away in handcuffs.

FAQs – Cop Jokes

What are some good cop jokes?

Here are 15+ good cop jokes:

1. Why did the police officer go to art school? To learn how to draw his weapon.
2. What do you call a female police officer who plays guitar? A jammin’ cop.
3. Why did the police officer break up with his girlfriend? She kept trying to steal his beat.
4. What do you get when you cross a police officer with a humorist? A laugh enforcement officer.
5. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To get his beat.
6. Why did the police officer arrest the bird? For tweeting on the job.
7. What do you call a police officer who can’t solve a case? A private detective.
8. What did the police officer say to the burglar? You have the right to remain silent, but I wouldn’t recommend it.
9. Why did the police officer bring a pencil and a piece of very thin paper to the bank robbery? He wanted to draw the suspects.
10. What do you call a police officer with a cold? A sick cop.
11. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To buy pepper spray.
12. What do you call a police officer who works in a circus? A ring-cop.
13. Why do police officers prefer to work at night? Because they don’t have to deal with any daylight robbers.
14. Why did the police officer go to the movie theater? To catch a sneak preview.
15. Why did the police officer wear sunglasses? Because he didn’t want to be recognized… or to get a ticket for not wearing them while driving.

What are the funniest jokes about cops and police?

What is some good police humor?

Police Humor:

1. Why did the policeman go to bed? He wanted to catch up on his sleep!
2. Why do police officers carry a notebook? In case they forget how to spell their name.
3. What do you get when you cross a police officer with a lawyer? Someone who tells you that he doesn’t want to answer any questions.
4. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To buy some cop-sickles.
5. What do you call a police officer who can’t solve a case? An “unsolved problem”.
6. Why did the police officer ticket the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license.
7. What do you call a police officer who doesn’t catch any criminals? An “officer of the month”.
8. Why do police officers prefer to wear blue uniforms? Because red ones would make them easier targets.
9. Why don’t police officers play hide and seek? Because good cops always find you.
10. Why did the police officer take his dog to the vet? Because he wanted to get a K-9-ine.
11. What do you call a police officer who’s addicted to poker? A Texas Ranger.
12. What do you call a police officer who works for a pharmaceutical company? A narco-traffic cop.
13. What do you call a police officer who goes to the beach? A surf-cop.
14. Why did the police officer cross the road? To get to the donut shop on the other side.
15. Why did the police officer arrest the leprechaun? For illegal possession of a pot of gold.

What are some common saying among cops (funny)?

Common sayings among cops:

1. “10-4” – Acknowledgment of a message or instruction.
2. “Copy that” – Similar to “10-4,” indicating the message has been received and understood.
3. “Signal 100” – An officer needs backup urgently.
4. “Code 3” – Response with lights and siren activated.
5. “Code 4” – Situation under control and no further assistance is needed.
6. “Got your six” – I’ve got your back.
7. “Cover me” – I need someone to watch my back.
8. “All units be advised” – Important information is being shared.
9. “Negative” – No.
10. “Affirmative” – Yes.
11. “ETA” – Estimated time of arrival.
12. “Perp” – Short for perpetrator.
13. “APB” – All Points Bulletin, a broadcast to all officers to be on the lookout for a specific suspect.
14. “Hot call” – An urgent or dangerous situation that requires immediate response.
15. “Crime scene” – A location where a crime has been committed and is being investigated.

Conclusion

Cop jokes, also known as police jokes, are a type of humor that is centered around law enforcement officers and their daily experiences. Some of the common characteristics of cop jokes include:

• Mocking authority: Cop jokes often poke fun at the authority and power that police officers hold. They may make light of the way officers behave or the way they are perceived by the public.
• Exaggeration: Cop jokes often use exaggeration to make their point. This can include exaggerating the size of police officers, the amount of equipment they carry, or the severity of their actions.
• Stereotypes: Cop jokes often rely on stereotypes about police officers and the people they interact with. This can include stereotypes about criminals, victims, and even other law enforcement agencies.
• Play on words: Many cop jokes use puns and wordplay to create humor. This can include taking common phrases and reinterpreting them in a law enforcement context.
• Social commentary: Some cop jokes use humor to comment on larger social issues. This can include the power dynamics between law enforcement and the public.

Overall, cop jokes can be seen as a way for people to make light of serious issues and to cope with the stress and tension that can arise in interactions with law enforcement.

However, it is important to recognize that not all cop jokes are appropriate or harmless, and some may perpetuate harmful stereotypes or reinforce negative attitudes towards law enforcement.

Related

• Dad Jokes
• Detective Names