The “Joke of the Day” is a humorous statement or question that is intended to make people laugh or smile.
It is usually short and simple, making it easy to remember and share with others.
Here are some common characteristics of a Joke of the Day:
- Short and concise: Jokes of the Day are typically brief and to the point, usually consisting of just one or two sentences.
- Playful language: They often use puns, wordplay, or other forms of linguistic humor to create a clever or unexpected twist.
- Universal appeal: Good Jokes of the Day are generally suitable for all audiences and don’t rely on any specific cultural or historical references.
- Humorous situation: They often present a situation that is absurd or unlikely, which adds to the humor.
- Surprise or twist: The punchline of the joke usually comes at the end and is unexpected, catching the listener off guard and making them laugh.
- Memorable: The best Jokes of the Day are easy to remember and often become classics that people share and tell for years to come.
Overall, the goal of the Joke of the Day is to bring a moment of levity and humor into someone’s day and brighten their mood.
Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day:
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
- I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Joke of the Day for Work
Joke of the Day for Work:
- Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn’t get arrays.
- How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a hardware problem.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
- Why was the IT guy afraid of the computer? It had a mouse.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Why do they call it a “shortcut” when it takes longer to use?
- How do construction workers party? They raise the roof!
Joke of the Day for Kids
Joke of the Day for Kids:
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What did one math book say to the other? “I’ve got problems.”
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
5 Minutes of Dad Jokes on Dock Tok
Hilarious Joke of the Day
Hilarious Joke of the Day:
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
Dad Joke of the Day
Dad Joke of the Day:
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? He woke up.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
Kids Joke of the Day
Kids Joke of the Day:
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- What did one math book say to the other? “I’ve got problems.”
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Short Joke of the Day
Short Joke of the Day:
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue, I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- I have a photographic memory but I always forget to charge my camera.
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
7 Easy Jokes That Make People Obsessed With You
Long Joke of the Day
Long Joke of the Day:
- Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.
- I used to play piano by ear but now I use my hands.
- A man walks into a library and asks for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says, “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
- A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in two places!” The doctor replies, “Well then, stay out of those places!”
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I used to play in a band called “The Prevention.” We never got any gigs because people thought we were a disease.
- My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
- Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.
- A police officer stopped me for speeding. “Can I see your driving license?” he asked. “I don’t have one,” I replied. “Can I see your vehicle registration?” he asked. “I don’t have one of those either,” I said. “Can I see your insurance card?” he asked. “I don’t have insurance,” I replied. The officer was getting frustrated. “Why the hell do you have a car then?” he asked. “Because I’m an excellent driver,” I said, as I drove off.
- My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Joke of the Day for Adults
Joke of the Day for Adults:
- Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
- Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender? She wanted to make apple juice.
- I used to be addicted to soap operas, but I’m clean now.
- Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
- Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they’re ugly and they stink.
- What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
- What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.
- I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.
- Why did the prostitute refuse to wear a seatbelt? She wanted to die doing what she loved.
- Why did the priest refuse to use Viagra? He didn’t want to get caught with his hands up.
Funny Joke of the Day
Funny Joke of the Day:
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What did the grape say when it got squished? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
- I used to play in a band called “The Prevention.” We never got any gigs because people thought we were a disease.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I have a photographic memory but I always forget to charge my camera.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Bad Joke of the Day
Bad Joke of the Day:
- I told a joke about a pencil but it was pointless.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue, I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
- What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Spanish Words of the Day Joke
Spanish Words of the Day Joke:
- Why did the Spanish teacher refuse to speak Spanish? Because he didn’t want to taco ’bout it.
- What do you call a Spanish magician? Houdini-olé!
- Why don’t Mexicans ever win in the Olympics? Because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America already.
- What do you call a Spanish guy who lost his car? Carlos.
- Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
- What do you call a Spanish guy who lost his glasses? No eyes Jose.
- What do you call a Spanish snowman? An ice Juan.
- Why don’t Spanish people ever say 99? Because they can’t handle the trés-digits.
- What do you call a Spanish guy who has just broken up with his girlfriend? Carlos Less.
- What do you call a Spanish guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
Keepers Joke of the Day
Keepers Joke of the Day:
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
Silly Joke of the Day
Silly Joke of the Day:
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
- Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
- Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Christmas Joke of the Day
Christmas Joke of the Day:
- Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
- What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
- Why did Santa bring a ladder to Christmas Eve? Because he wanted to climb up the chimney.
- What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.
- What do you call an elf who teaches at school? A subordinate Claus.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What is Santa’s favorite type of pizza? One that’s deep-pan, crisp, and even.
- What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly.
Halloween Joke of the Day
Halloween Joke of the Day:
- Why do ghosts make bad liars? Because they’re easy to see through.
- What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
- Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos.
- Why did the werewolf go to the doctor? He was howling a lot.
- What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
- Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry? They don’t want to fly off the handle.
- What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
- What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.
Mexican Joke of the Day
Mexican Joke of the Day:
- Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
- What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
- How does a Mexican cut his pizza? Little Caesars.
- Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila!
- Why don’t Mexicans ever have barbecues? Because the beans keep falling through the grill.
- What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he’s too short to be an essay.
- What do you call a group of Mexicans in a jacuzzi? Bean dip.
- What do you call a Mexican who has just won the lottery? Taco Belle.
- What do you call a Mexican who has a toe made out of rubber? Roberto.
- What do you call a Mexican who has a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.
Clean Joke of the Day
Clean Joke of the Day:
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Math Joke of the Day
Math Joke of the Day:
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
- Why did the math teacher break up with the science teacher? There was no chemistry.
- What do you get when you cross a math teacher and a clock? Time tables.
- What do you call an angle that is adorable? Acute angle.
- What do you get when you cross geometry and McDonald’s? A plane cheeseburger.
- Why do mathematicians like parks? Because of all the natural logs.
- Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tired.
- What do you call a shape that can sing? A chord.
- Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
Monday Joke of the Day
Monday Joke of the Day:
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy!
Tuesday Joke of the Day
Tuesday Joke of the Day:
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
- What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call a bear that has no teeth? A gummy bear!
Wednesday Joke of the Day
Wednesday Joke of the Day:
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
- Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
Thursday Joke of the Day
Thursday Joke of the Day:
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy!
Friday Joke of the Day
Friday Joke of the Day:
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Why don’t seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they would be bay-gulls!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire!
Saturday Joke of the Day
Saturday Joke of the Day:
- What do you call a group of cows doing yoga? A mooo-ga class!
- Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be a chicken sedan!
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
- Why don’t oysters give to charity? They’re shellfish!
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
Sunday Joke of the Day
Sunday Joke of the Day:
- Why did the man run around his bed? To catch up on his sleep!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Dumb Joke of the Day
Dumb Joke of the Day:
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up pants.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.
Stupid Joke of the Day
Stupid Joke of the Day
- Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.
- Why did the balloon go near the needle? To hear its pop music.
- Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- Why don’t dinosaurs drive cars? They’re extinct.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine.
Corny Joke of the Day
Corny Joke of the Day:
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up!
- Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy!
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Teacher Joke of the Day
Teacher Joke of the Day:
- Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
- Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
- Why did the teacher cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why did the teacher write on the window? To make a point.
- Why did the math teacher break up with the science teacher? There was no chemistry.
- Why did the teacher jump into the pool fully clothed? She wanted to test the water.
- Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
- Why was the teacher always calm? Because she had class.
- Why did the teacher bring a ladder to school? To teach her students how to climb the social ladder.
- Why did the teacher wear a crown? Because she was the ruler of the classroom.
Mom Joke of the Day
Mom Joke of the Day:
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up pants.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.
Kindergarten Joke of the Day
Kindergarten Joke of the Day:
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly south for the winter? Because they would quack up.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the crayons go to the psychiatrist? They were feeling a little bit blue.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the pirate go to the doctor? Because he had a hook in his hand.
- Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree.
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed.
Elementary School Joke of the Day
Elementary School Joke of the Day:
- What is a math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer!
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Why did the pencil go to the doctor? Because it had a broken lead.
- Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Middle School Joke of the Day
Middle School Joke of the Day:
- Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos.
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
High School Joke of the Day
High School Joke of the Day:
- Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!
- Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
- Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
Nurse Joke of the Day
Nurse Jokes of the Day:
- What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? “Some asshole has my pen!”
- Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood.
- Why do nurses always carry red pens? In case they need to draw blood.
- Why did the nurse refuse to give the patient an enema? She said he didn’t have a sense of humor.
- Why did the nurse put a red “X” on the patient’s chart? She wanted to know where to inject the patient.
- Why did the nurse wear a red shirt? She wanted to look like a bloody mess.
- Why did the nurse go to art school? She wanted to learn how to draw blood.
- Why did the nurse bring a red crayon to work? She wanted to draw blood.
- What did the nurse say to the patient who was bleeding out? “Don’t worry, I’ll have you in stitches in no time.”
- Why did the nurse wear a red cape to work? She wanted to be a superhero in scrubs.
Medical Joke of the Day
Medical Jokes of the Day:
- Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? He was feeling bone-tired.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the patient bring a pencil to the doctor’s office? In case he needed to draw blood.
- Why did the doctor break up with his nurse? He wanted to find someone with a little more patience.
- Why did the nurse need a red pen? She needed to draw blood.
- Why did the chicken go to the doctor? Because he had a poultrygeist.
- Why did the nurse cross the road? To get to the other bedside.
- Why did the doctor put a band-aid on the computer? Because it had a virus.
- Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? To check the patient’s temperature.
- Why did the doctor bring a bomb to work? To blow up some of the charts.
Russian Joke of the Day
Russian Jokes of the Day:
- Why do Russian people never smile? Because they’re always Stalin.
- What did the Russian say when he saw a ghost? “Vodka, is that you?”
- What did the Russian farmer say to his cow? “Moo-ski!”
- Why do Russians always win at chess? Because they have Putin their all into it.
- Why do Russian people love potato jokes? Because they’re so Soviet!
- What do you call a Russian party without vodka? A conspiracy.
- Why did the Russian rocket scientist only wear Adidas shoes? Because they had a good sole.
- Why did the Russian cross the road? To get to the Gulag.
- Why do Russian people always have a sad expression on their faces? Because they have Moscow on their mind.
- Why did the Russian poet use a pencil instead of a pen? Because graphite is Russia’s primary export.
Bartenders Joke of the Day
Bartenders Jokes of the Day:
- Why did the bartender go to the doctor? He was feeling shaken, not stirred.
- Why did the bartender refuse to serve the cowboy a drink? He was already a little horse.
- Why did the bartender keep serving drinks to the pig? He was hogging the bar.
- Why did the bartender serve a mushroom a drink? Because he was a fun-gi.
- Why did the bartender refuse to serve the frog a drink? He was already croaked.
- Why did the bartender serve a fish a drink? Because he was a tanked fish.
- Why did the bartender refuse to serve the mime a drink? He didn’t want to break his silence.
- Why did the bartender serve the tree a drink? Because it was rooted to the spot.
- Why did the bartender serve the ghost a drink? Because he was dead thirsty.
- Why did the bartender refuse to serve the airplane a drink? Because it was already high enough.
Wind Joke of the Day
Wind Jokes of the Day:
- Why did the wind get a ticket? It was caught for excessive blowing.
- What did the wind say to the palm tree? “Hang on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob!”
- Why did the windmill stop turning? It had too many turns already.
- Why did the wind go to the psychiatrist? It was feeling a bit airheaded.
- What did the wind say when it blew past the cornfield? “Corngratulations on your harvest!”
- Why did the wind refuse to share its secrets? It didn’t want to blow its cover.
- What did the wind say when it met a tornado? “Hey, you spin me right round, baby, right round.”
- Why did the wind stop playing soccer? It kept getting blown away.
- Why did the wind cross the road? To get to the other side of the storm.
- Why did the wind go to the beach? It wanted to catch some waves.
Fall Joke of the Day
Fall Jokes of the Day:
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
- Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green.
- Why did the skeleton go to the fall festival? To get a body for his head.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
- What did the tree say to autumn? “Leaf me alone!”
- Why did the squirrel cross the road? To get to the nut shop on the other side.
- Why did the turkey refuse to eat dinner? It was already stuffed.
- What do you call a pile of leaves in the fall? A ground cover.
- Why did the ghost go to the fall festival? To find a boo-tiful pumpkin.
Dark Joke of the Day
Dark Jokes of the Day:
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- Why did the blind man fall into the well? He couldn’t see that well.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy.
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
- Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.
- Why did the magician break up with his girlfriend? She kept sawing him in half.
Science Joke of the Day
Science Jokes of the Day:
- Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize.
- Why did the bacteria cross the road? To get to the other slide.
- What do you call an acid with attitude? A-mean-oh acid.
- Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry between them.
- Why did the chemist switch to making glue? He wanted to stick to something.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed his space.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
- Why did the physicist go to the beach? He wanted to measure the sine of the waves.
Morning Joke of the Day
Morning Jokes of the Day:
- Why do chickens make bad alarm clocks? Because they hit the snooze button too many times.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Why did the baker go to therapy? He kneaded someone to talk to.
- Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
- Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend? She was a cheetah.
- Why did the baker stop making donuts? He got tired of the hole business.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the runner stop jogging? He was out of breath.
FAQs – Joke of the Day
What is the joke of the day?
Joke of the day:
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What are some good ideas for kid joke of the day?
Kid joke of the day:
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a bulldozer? Frosty the Snowplow.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- What do you get when you cross a cow and a trampoline? A milkshake.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
What are the funniest jokes of the day?
Funniest jokes of the day:
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why was the broom late? It swept in.
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
