239+ Safety Jokes [All Categories]

Safety jokes are a type of humor that is meant to promote safety in the workplace or other areas where safety is a concern.

Here are some characteristics of safety jokes:

• Relevant: Safety jokes are typically relevant to the safety concerns of the workplace or activity. They may reference safety regulations, equipment, or procedures.
• Light-hearted: Safety jokes are usually lighthearted and meant to be taken in good humor. They should not be offensive or make light of serious safety concerns.
• Engaging: Safety jokes are meant to engage and educate people about safety. They should be memorable and help people remember the importance of safety.
• Effective: Safety jokes can be an effective way to get people to pay attention to safety concerns. They can be used to break the ice and make safety training more engaging.
• Positive: Safety jokes should have a positive tone and promote positive safety behaviors. They should not promote risky behavior or make light of accidents or injuries.

Overall, safety jokes can be a useful tool for promoting safety awareness in the workplace or other areas where safety is a concern.

Safety Jokes

Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go skydiving? Because it was a high-risk activity.
2. What do you call a safety meeting that’s only attended by one person? A conversation.
3. Why did the safety conscious chicken always look both ways before crossing the road? To avoid getting hit by a truck.
4. Why did the safety inspector refuse to drink the water at the factory? Because it was contaminated with safety violations.
5. What do you get when you cross a safety inspector with a tree? A safety hazard.
6. How many safety inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just issue a citation and wait for the maintenance department to do it.
7. Why did the safety conscious man install a seatbelt on his office chair? To avoid falling out of his chair during an earthquake.
8. Why did the safety conscious chicken refuse to go near the edge of the cliff? To avoid a fall hazard.
9. What do you call a safety video that puts you to sleep? A snooze-fest.
10. Why did the safety inspector refuse to eat the sandwich at the factory? Because it was made with hazardous materials.

Safety Puns

Safety Puns:

1. I’m reading a book on the dangers of smoking. It’s a real page-turner!
2. I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy for safety.
3. I would tell you a joke about safety, but it’s not worth the risk.
4. Don’t be a fool, cover your tool.
5. Safety is no accident.
6. Practice safety every day, especially if you’re not sure what you’re doing.
7. Don’t take safety for granted, or it could be taken from you.
8. Safety rules are your best tools.
9. Always use protection, whether it’s a helmet or a condom.
10. When it comes to safety, there are no shortcuts.
11. Safety is a state of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
12. Be alert, don’t get hurt.
13. Safety is a team effort, not a one-man show.
14. Don’t be careless, be careful.
15. You can’t undo a safety mistake, so don’t make one.
16. Safety first, because accidents last.
17. Keep calm and practice safety.
18. Safety doesn’t happen by accident.
19. The only time success comes before safety is in the dictionary.
20. Safety is like a lock – it only works if you use it.
21. When in doubt, check it out.
22. Safety is a choice you make.
23. Better safe than sorry.
24. Don’t gamble with safety – it’s not a game.
25. Always follow safety protocols – they’re there for a reason.
26. Safety is not just a slogan, it’s a way of life.
27. Safety is not a job, it’s a habit.
28. Safety should never be taken lightly.
29. Safety is the best policy.
30. The safest risk is the one you didn’t take.
31. Safety is like a reflex – it should come naturally.
32. Safety is not just for the workplace, it’s for everywhere.
33. Don’t be reckless, be responsible.
34. Safety is like insurance – you hope you never need it, but you’re glad you have it.
35. Safety is a journey, not a destination.

Safety Jokes – One-Liners

Safety Jokes – One-Liners:

1. Safety first, or you might get hurt.
2. If at first, you don’t succeed, try following the safety procedures.
3. A hard hat, safety glasses, and steel-toed boots walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of safety meeting?”
4. Safety is no accident.
5. Keep calm and follow the safety guidelines.
6. Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy.
7. Safety doesn’t happen by accident.
8. To err is human, to follow the safety procedures is divine.
9. A helmet is cheaper than a hospital bill.
10. Safety: it’s not just a slogan, it’s a way of life.

Funny Safety Training Video, Perfect for Safety Meeting Openers

Funny Safety Jokes

Funny Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the safety inspector cross the road? To get to the other side of the safety hazard.
2. What did the safety inspector say to the employee who fell asleep during the safety meeting? “Wake up and smell the safety regulations!”
3. How many safety inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just issue a citation and wait for the maintenance department to do it.
4. Why did the safety conscious chicken always look both ways before crossing the road? To avoid getting hit by a truck.
5. What did the safety inspector say to the employee who asked for a safety waiver? “I waive your request.”
6. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go skydiving? Because it was a high-risk activity.
7. What do you get when you cross a safety inspector with a tree? A safety hazard.
8. Why did the safety inspector refuse to eat the sandwich at the factory? Because it was made with hazardous materials.
9. Why did the safety conscious man install a seatbelt on his office chair? To avoid falling out of his chair during an earthquake.
10. Why did the safety inspector refuse to drink the water at the factory? Because it was contaminated with safety violations.

Safety Jokes for Work

Safety Jokes for Work:

1. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go on the factory tour? Because it was a safety hazard.
2. What do you call a safety meeting that’s only attended by one person? A conversation.
3. How many safety inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just issue a citation and wait for the maintenance department to do it.
4. Why did the safety inspector refuse to eat the sandwich at the factory? Because it was made with hazardous materials.
5. Why did the safety conscious man install a seat belt on his office chair? To avoid falling out of his chair during an earthquake.
6. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go on the roller coaster at the amusement park? Because it didn’t meet safety standards.
7. What did the safety inspector say to the employee who wasn’t wearing safety goggles? “I see what you did there, and it’s not safe.”
8. Why did the safety inspector refuse to use the ladder at the construction site? Because it was missing a safety railing.
9. How many safety inspectors does it take to inspect a construction site? As many as it takes to ensure it’s safe.
10. Why did the safety inspector refuse to ride in the elevator at the office building? Because it didn’t have a current safety inspection certificate.

Workplace Safety Jokes

Workplace Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go on the factory tour? Because it was a safety hazard.
2. What did the safety inspector say to the employee who fell asleep during the safety meeting? “Wake up and smell the safety regulations!”
3. How many safety inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just issue a citation and wait for the maintenance department to do it.
4. Why did the safety inspector refuse to eat the sandwich at the factory? Because it was made with hazardous materials.
5. Why did the safety conscious man install a seatbelt on his office chair? To avoid falling out of his chair during an earthquake.
6. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go on the roller coaster at the amusement park? Because it didn’t meet safety standards.
7. What did the safety inspector say to the employee who wasn’t wearing safety goggles? “I see what you did there, and it’s not safe.”
8. Why did the safety inspector refuse to use the ladder at the construction site? Because it was missing a safety railing.
9. How many safety inspectors does it take to inspect a construction site? As many as it takes to ensure it’s safe.
10. Why did the safety inspector refuse to ride in the elevator at the office building? Because it didn’t have a current safety inspection certificate.

Steve Hughes – Health and Safety & Offended Comedy Routines (HQ)

Safety Guy Jokes

Safety Guy Jokes:

1. Why did the safety guy cross the road? To get to the other side of the safety hazard.
2. What did the safety guy say to the employee who fell asleep during the safety meeting? “Wake up and smell the safety regulations!”
3. How many safety guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just issue a citation and wait for the maintenance department to do it.
4. Why did the safety guy refuse to eat the sandwich at the factory? Because it was made with hazardous materials.
5. Why did the safety conscious man install a seatbelt on his office chair? To avoid falling out of his chair during an earthquake.
6. Why did the safety guy refuse to go on the roller coaster at the amusement park? Because it didn’t meet safety standards.
7. What did the safety guy say to the employee who wasn’t wearing safety goggles? “I see what you did there, and it’s not safe.”
8. Why did the safety guy refuse to use the ladder at the construction site? Because it was missing a safety railing.
9. How many safety guys does it take to inspect a construction site? As many as it takes to ensure it’s safe.
10. Why did the safety guy refuse to ride in the elevator at the office building? Because it didn’t have a current safety inspection certificate.

Lab Safety Jokes

Lab Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the microbiologist break up with the physicist? Because they had no chemistry.
2. Why do chemists like to work with ammonia? Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
3. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear – perfect for lab safety demonstrations.
4. What do you get when you cross a chemist and a plumber? A watered-down solution.
5. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
6. Why did the chemist go on a camping trip? They wanted to study the reactions in the great outdoors.
7. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta – and a perfect prop for lab safety training.
8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite element? Arrrrgon!
10. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

OSHA Safety Jokes

OSHA Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the OSHA inspector go to the seance? To talk to the ghosts of unsafe practices past.
2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
3. Why was the construction worker always calm on the job? Because he had everything under control.
4. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go skydiving? Because it was outside his fall protection plan.
5. Why did the safety coordinator refuse to take a sick day? Because they didn’t want to be caught unguarded.
6. Why did the safety director become a magician? So they could make hazards disappear.
7. Why did the safety officer bring a ladder to the meeting? Because they wanted to raise some concerns.
8. What’s the difference between a safety manager and a superhero? The safety manager doesn’t need a cape to save lives.
9. What did the OSHA inspector say when they saw a worker without PPE? “You’re in violation of the OSHA hazard communication standard – your message isn’t getting through!”
10. What did the sign in the OSHA office say? “Safety doesn’t happen by accident.”

Dad Jokes About Safety

Dad Jokes About Safety:

1. Why was the safety manual sad? It had too many warnings.
2. What do you get when you cross a safety consultant and a magician? Someone who can make hazards disappear.
3. Why was the safety supervisor always calm? Because they had everything under control.
4. Why did the safety coordinator get a promotion? They had a good head on their shoulders.
5. Why did the safety officer bring a map to the meeting? Because they wanted to show everyone the safe way.
6. What did the OSHA inspector say to the worker with a bad attitude? “You need to adjust your attitude – it’s a hazard to those around you!”
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
8. Why did the construction worker get a promotion? They always had the right tools for the job.
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite safety rule? Always wear an arrrr-senal of PPE.
10. Why was the safety manager afraid of the dark? Because they couldn’t see the hazards.

Chemistry Lab Safety Jokes

Chemistry Lab Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the chemist break up with the physicist? Because they had no chemistry.
2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear – perfect for lab safety demonstrations.
3. What do you get when you cross a chemist and a plumber? A watered-down solution.
4. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
5. Why did the chemist go on a camping trip? They wanted to study the reactions in the great outdoors.
6. Why did the chemistry teacher always wear goggles? To see their students’ reactions more clearly.
7. Why was the periodic table so good at soccer? Because it had all the elements for a good team.
8. What do you call an acid with attitude? A-mean-oh acid.
9. Why did the chemist put a lock on their lab? Because they didn’t want anyone to steal their solutions.

Food Safety Jokes

Food Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta – and a reminder to always check the expiration date.
3. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer – a good reminder to store raw meat safely.
4. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide – and to avoid cross-contamination.
5. What do you call a chef who works in a hazardous kitchen? A recipe for disaster.
6. Why was the chef afraid to add too much salt to their recipe? They didn’t want to make a sodium-ful mistake.
7. Why did the baker refuse to bake the bread dough? It wasn’t rising to the occasion – a good reminder to always check for signs of spoilage.
8. Why did the yogurt go to art school? To learn how to culture properly.
9. What do you call a baker who’s always cold? Chilled dough – a reminder to always store food at safe temperatures.
10. Why did the grape go out with the raisin? They were looking for a dried fruit – and a reminder to always wash fruits and vegetables before eating.

Construction Safety Jokes

Construction Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the safety inspector refuse to go skydiving? Because it was outside his fall protection plan.
2. Why did the construction worker always carry a pencil? In case they needed to draw up some safety plans.
3. Why did the safety director become a magician? So they could make hazards disappear.
4. Why did the architect have a hard time sleeping? They kept thinking about all the load-bearing walls.
5. Why did the construction worker refuse to take a sick day? Because they didn’t want to be caught unguarded.
6. What’s the difference between a safety manager and a superhero? The safety manager doesn’t need a cape to save lives.
7. Why did the safety officer bring a ladder to the meeting? Because they wanted to raise some concerns.
8. Why did the safety consultant go to the movies? To watch a “safety first” feature.
9. Why did the construction worker always wear a hard hat? So they wouldn’t lose their mind on the job.
10. Why did the safety coordinator refuse to take a break? They wanted to keep their eyes on the ball – and on safety.

Patient Safety Jokes

Patient Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the patient bring a ladder to the hospital? To get to the high doses of medication!
2. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
3. I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
4. Why did the doctor break up with the nurse? Because he wanted to operate with someone else!
5. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood!
6. How do you know if a surgeon is having a bad day? They leave their gloves inside the patient.
7. Why did the hospital hire a new nurse? They needed someone to check their patients pulse… just in case.
8. Did you hear about the dentist who went to medical school? Now he’s a filling practitioner.
9. Why did the nurse keep a red pen in her pocket? In case she needed to draw blood!
10. Why did the doctor always carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood!

Health and Safety Jokes

Health and Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What did one germ say to the other germ? “Let’s get together and be infectious!”
3. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
4. Why did the nurse go to art school? To learn how to draw blood!
5. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
6. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
7. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly!
8. What did one germ say to the other germ when they fell in love? “We’re a perfect match!”
9. Why did the teacher go to the doctor? She had too many class-es.
10. Why did the nurse wear a red shirt to work? In case there was a code red!

Baby Safety Jokes

Baby Safety Jokes:

1. What did the baby say when it saw its first toy? “Goo goo, ga ga!”
2. Why did the baby go to the seance? To talk to the other side of the womb!
3. What did the baby say to the teddy bear? “I love you beary much!”
4. Why did the baby put its shoes on the wrong feet? It wanted to learn how to walk in circles!
5. Why did the baby crawl across the playground? To get to the other slide!
6. What did the baby say to the bottle? “You’re my breast friend!”
7. Why did the baby eat the remote control? Because it wanted to change the channel!
8. Why did the baby cry when it saw the clock? Because it knew it was time for a nap!
9. What did the baby say to the pacifier? “You’re my binky boo!”
10. Why did the baby crawl under the bed? It was looking for the crib notes!

Internet Safety Jokes

Internet Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
2. Why did the website go to the optometrist? It couldn’t see its own traffic!
3. Why did the website need glasses? It had 20/20 hits!
4. Why did the browser go to the doctor? It had too many pop-ups!
5. Why did the password go to therapy? It forgot its identity!
6. Why did the computer take a nap? It was tired of processing all the information!
7. Why did the programmer go on vacation? To de-bug himself!
8. Why did the computer freeze? It wanted to let its windows chill!
9. Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn’t get arrays!
10. Why did the computer feel shy? Because it had a low bandwidth!

Safety Goggle Jokes

Safety Goggle Jokes:

1. Why did the scientist wear safety goggles? To keep their eyes on the prize!
2. Why did the lab tech wear safety goggles? To protect their pupils!
3. Why did the chemist wear safety goggles? To keep the chemistry in check!
4. Why did the biologist wear safety goggles? To keep their sight on the cell!
5. Why did the physicist wear safety goggles? To keep an eye on the atom!
6. Why did the engineer wear safety goggles? To see the world in a clear view!
7. Why did the astronaut wear safety goggles? To protect their eyes from the space debris!
8. Why did the electrician wear safety goggles? To avoid being shocked by their job!
9. Why did the construction worker wear safety goggles? To see clearly through all the dust and debris!
10. Why did the carpenter wear safety goggles? To avoid sawdust in their eyes!

FAQs – Safety Jokes

What are some jokes about safety?

Safety Jokes:

1. Why did the safety officer refuse to go on the roller coaster? He said it was a potential hazard.
2. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good hiding spots are hard to come by. You just never know when you’ll trip and fall into a first aid kit.
3. I once got a job as a professional wrestler, but I quit on the first day. They kept insisting I wear a hard hat in the ring.
4. I’m taking up fencing as a hobby. But don’t worry, I’m wearing a mask, gloves, and all the proper safety gear.
5. What do you call an astronaut who’s lost his helmet? An astronaut, because he’s already lost his oxygen!
6. I thought about getting a job in construction, but it just didn’t seem very safe. It’s a risky business.
7. I was going to become a stuntman, but I decided it was too dangerous. I just didn’t have the guts.
8. Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To keep his pants up while he’s running to a fire!
9. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
10. I was going to start a hot air balloon business, but it never really took off.
11. My wife said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with health and safety. I was shocked, I didn’t think she had it in her.
12. I’m not afraid of heights, but I’m terrified of falling. That’s why I always wear a parachute…to the office.
13. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
14. I heard that oxygen and magnesium were going out. I was like, “OMg!”
15. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
17. I have a photographic memory. I just don’t have any film.
18. I have a fear of speed bumps. I call it “gomphophobia.”
19. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
20. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

What are some lab safety jokes?

Lab safety jokes:

1. I was working in the lab late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sight…a flask filled to the brim with glowing green light!
2. Why did the chemist break up with his girlfriend? She kept asking for a ring, but all he had was a beaker.
3. Did you hear about the chemist who froze himself to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
4. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
5. Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” The second one died.
6. What do you get when you cross a lab technician with a vampire? A researcher who stays up all night working on blood samples!
7. Why was the lab assistant always calm? Because he had a beaker full of mellow yellow!
8. Why did the physicist spill his coffee? Because he didn’t have enough momentum.
9. Why don’t they serve beer in chemistry labs? Because you might accidentally drink a solution.
10. I asked my chemistry teacher what his favorite element was. He said, “I don’t have one, I love them all equally.”
11. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
12. Why did the microbiologist break up with his girlfriend? He said she didn’t have enough culture.
13. I was going to tell you a joke about sodium, but Na.
14. Why did the physics professor break up with the biology professor? There was no chemistry between them.
15. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?”
16. Why do scientists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
17. I tried to organize a chemistry pun contest, but there was no reaction.
18. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
19. Why did the electron leave the atom? It had a negative vibe.

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