197+ Train Puns & Jokes [Railroad, Track Puns]

Train puns and jokes are a type of humor that revolves around puns, wordplay, and cultural references related to trains, railroads, and tracks.

Here are some characteristics of train puns and jokes:

• Play on words: Train puns and jokes often rely on wordplay to create humor. For example, “I used to be a train driver, but I got sidetracked” or “Why did the train go to the gym? To get some tracktion.”
• Cultural references: Train puns and jokes may also reference famous trains or railway systems from popular culture, such as the Hogwarts Express from Harry Potter or the Orient Express.
• Visual humor: Some train puns and jokes use visual humor to create a humorous image in the mind of the listener or reader. For example, “Why did the train attend art school? To learn how to draw.”
• Timing: Train puns and jokes often rely on timing to maximize their impact. For example, a pun may be delivered at the precise moment when the listener or reader is least expecting it, making it more surprising and thus funnier.
• Absurdity: Some train puns and jokes may be intentionally absurd, relying on the absurdity of the situation or the wordplay to create humor. For example, “Why did the train conductor wear sunglasses? Because his future was so bright he had to wear shades.”

Overall, train puns and jokes are a lighthearted and playful way to incorporate humor into conversations or written content.

Train Puns

Train Puns:

1. Why was the train so good at math? It knew how to conduct itself.
2. I took the train to work today. It was an express ride to success!
3. What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
4. What do you call a train that’s always running late? A slow-motion locomotive.
5. I love to travel by train. It’s my locomotion.
6. Why did the train join a gym? To get some locomotive exercise.
7. What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
8. Why don’t trains ever grow old? Because they’re always chugging along.
9. What did the train say when it got stuck on the tracks? “I can’t locomotive!”
10. Why did the train break up with his girlfriend? She was always locomotivated.
11. Why was the train so good at music? It had perfect timbre.
12. What do you call a train that’s full of superheroes? The Avenger Express.
13. Why did the train go to the dentist? To get its tracks cleaned.
14. What do you call a train that carries books? The Reading Railroad.
15. Why did the train go to the gym? To build up its steam muscles.
16. What do you call a train that’s not feeling well? A choo-choo with the flu.
17. Why did the train start wearing glasses? Because it lost its locomotion.
18. What do you call a train that’s always on time? A tick-tock train.
19. What did the train conductor say to the passenger who was afraid of tunnels? “Don’t worry, it’s just a train of thought.”
20. Why did the train stop singing? Because it was off track.

Train Jokes

Train Jokes:

1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
3. Why don’t oysters give to charity? They’re shellfish.
4. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
6. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
7. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up pants.
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
9. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
10. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
11. Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.
12. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
13. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
14. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.
15. Why did the pencil cross the road? To get to the other side.
16. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
17. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot.
18. Why did the banana split? Because it saw the apple turnover.
19. Why don’t sharks live in the jungle? Because they can’t climb trees.
20. Why did the duck go to the bank? To get some bills quacked.

It’s FULL STEAM Ahead – 20 Best Clean TRAIN & RAILWAY Jokes!

Train Jokes for Kids

Train Jokes for Kids:

1. Why do trains like birthdays? Because they always have a party on board.
2. Why did the train go to the doctor? Because it had a lot of choo-choos.
3. Why don’t trains like to stop at red lights? Because they don’t want to be late for their train-ing.
4. Why did the train cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
5. Why did the train go to the gym? To work on its engine-cise.
6. What did one train say to the other train on their wedding day? “I choo-choo-choose you!”
7. Why did the train take a nap? Because it was a little engine that needed some rest.
8. What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
9. What do you get when you cross a train with a bicycle? A choo-choo chopper!
10. Why did the train go to space? To visit the Milky Way Station.
11. What is a train’s favorite song? “Loco-motion” by Little Eva.
12. Why did the train stop at the pumpkin patch? To get its boo-boo-boo-tiful decorations.
13. What do you call a train that’s always running late? A slow-motion locomotive.
14. Why did the train go to the doctor? Because it had a case of the coal-miner’s blues.
15. What do you call a train that’s not feeling well? Achoo-choo with the flu.
16. Why don’t trains ever grow old? Because they’re always chugging along.
17. What do you call a train that carries toys? The Playtime Express.
18. Why did the train go to the pet store? To get a new chew chew toy.
19. What do you call a train that’s full of animals? The Zoo-choo Express.
20. What do you get when you cross a train with a cow? A moo-moochoo!

Railroad Puns

Railroad Puns:

1. Did you hear about the train carrying bubble gum? It went chew-chew all the way.
2. I’d like to train for a marathon, but I prefer locomotion.
3. Why did the train go to the doctor? It was feeling a little run-down.
4. What do you call a train that carries luggage? The Baggage Express.
5. I took a train to work, but it didn’t go well. I was railroaded into a meeting.
6. Did you hear about the train that got a ticket for speeding? It was going too fast on the tracks.
7. Why did the train get a ticket for parking? It was station-ary.
8. Why do trains make good detectives? They always follow the tracks.
9. Why did the train become an actor? It was tired of being a loco-motive.
10. What do you call a train that’s always on time? A tick-tock train.
11. Why did the train break up with its girlfriend? She was always locomotivated.
12. Why did the train refuse to carry onions? It didn’t want to be a stinky locomotive.
13. What do you call a train that carries politicians? The Liar Express.
14. Why don’t trains ever get lost? They always know where they’re trackin’.
15. What do you call a train that’s afraid of heights? A low-co motion.
16. Why did the train go on a diet? It wanted to be a lean, mean, chugging machine.
17. What do you call a train that never stops talking? The Choo-Choo Chatterbox.
18. Why did the train decide to retire? It wanted to choo-choose a new career path.
19. Why did the train take a break from work? It was feeling a little run-around.
20. What do you call a train that’s full of clowns? The Chuckle-choo.

Track Puns

Track Puns:

1. Why did the train always stop in the middle of the track? Because it had train-ing wheels!
2. I tried to write a book on trains, but I couldn’t keep the story on track.
3. Did you hear about the guy who got hit by a train? He was chuggin’ along.
4. The train conductor said, “All aboard!” and the train replied, “I thought I was already aboard!”
5. I wanted to tell a joke about train wheels, but I figured it would just go off the rails.
6. Why do trains make such good detectives? Because they always follow the tracks.
7. What did the train say to the engine driver? “I think I can, I think I can!”
8. I used to be a train driver, but I got sidetracked.
9. What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew chew train!
10. The train was having trouble climbing the hill, but it eventually got over the hump.
11. Why was the train late? Because it took too long to coal off!
12. I told a train joke, but it went over everyone’s heads.
13. Why did the train need a nap? Because it was a little engine that could use a rest.
14. The train was feeling down, so I told it to keep chugging along.
15. The train driver was feeling sick, so the conductor told him to locomote.
16. What do you call a train that eats too much? A chug-a-lug train!
17. Why did the train go to the gym? To train its caboose!
18. What do you call a train that’s full of sheep? A wooly train!
19. The train was feeling lonely, so it started to whistle a tune.
20. Why did the train’s computer break down? Because it had a terminal illness!

Train Dad Jokes

Train Dad Jokes:

1. Why do trains make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always run off the tracks!
2. Did you hear about the train that went to a party? It had a great loco-motion!
3. I asked the train conductor if I could get off at the next stop, and he replied, “Sure thing, if you promise to track your progress.”
4. Why did the train cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
5. I told my son that I used to be a train conductor, but he said I was just pulling his caboose.
6. I tried to make a train joke about the United States, but it was too Amtrak-tic.
7. Why did the train break up with its girlfriend? She was too choo-choo busy.
8. I was going to tell a joke about trains, but I didn’t want to locomotive too much.
9. Why did the train go to the doctor? It had a case of loco-motion sickness.
10. What do you call a train that’s carrying bubble wrap? A pop-a-chew train!
11. Why did the train go to the baseball game? To see the pitcher throw a fast caboose.
12. What did the train say to the toaster? “You’re toast!”
13. Why did the train refuse to take a shower? It was afraid it would get derailed.
14. I told my wife that I was thinking about becoming a train conductor, but she said it would just be a loco-motive.
15. What do you call a train that’s really good at math? A train of thought.
16. Why did the train get a ticket? It was caught speed training.
17. What do you call a train that’s carrying elephants? A pachy-derail train!
18. Why did the train stop at the candy store? To get a choo-choo chew!
19. What do you call a train that’s filled with hot dogs? A frank-en-train!
20. Why did the train go to the dentist? To get a loco-molar!

Train – Play on Words

Train – Play on Words:

1. What do you get when you cross a train with a calendar? A choo-choo timetable!
2. Why did the train go to outer space? To visit the Milky Way station!
3. What do you call a train that’s dressed up for Halloween? A booo-choo-choo train!
4. Why did the train’s wheels break up? They were on different tracks.
5. What do you call a train that’s carrying politicians? A campaign express!
6. Why did the train refuse to slow down? It didn’t want to lose its train of thought.
7. What do you call a train that’s carrying a choir? A hum-a-chew train!
8. Why did the train go to the gym? To work on its loco-motives!
9. What do you call a train that’s carrying cows? A moo-ving train!
10. Why did the train’s whistle break up with its girlfriend? She kept blowing hot and cold.
11. What do you call a train that’s carrying criminals? A con-ductor!
12. Why did the train stop at the beach? To get some choo-choo sun!
13. What do you call a train that’s carrying cats? A purr-veyor of transportation!
14. Why did the train go to the therapist? It was feeling a little loco.
15. What do you call a train that’s carrying a marching band? A band-wagon!
16. Why did the train refuse to eat breakfast? It didn’t want to get sidetracked.
17. What do you call a train that’s carrying watermelons? A melon-choly train!
18. Why did the train go to the dentist? To get its chew chew fixed.
19. What do you call a train that’s carrying insects? A bug-express!
20. Why did the train go to the art museum? To check out the loco-motive paintings!

Train Conductor Jokes

Train Conductor Jokes:

1. Why did the train conductor go to the psychiatrist? He had a loco-motive problem.
2. What do you call a train conductor who can’t conduct? A de-rail-mentalist!
3. Why did the train conductor wear a turtleneck sweater? He wanted to keep his choo-choo warm.
4. What do you call a train conductor who’s also a thief? A con-ductor!
5. Why did the train conductor cross the road? To get to the station on the other side!
6. What do you call a train conductor who’s always on time? A time-keeper!
7. Why did the train conductor refuse to take a vacation? He didn’t want to lose his loco-motive.
8. What do you call a train conductor who’s always sleeping on the job? A snooze conductor!
9. Why did the train conductor go to the restaurant? He heard they had a train-eating contest.
10. What do you call a train conductor who’s always happy? A loco-motive!
11. Why did the train conductor wear a cape? He wanted to be a super-conductor!
12. What do you call a train conductor who’s always juggling? A multi-tasking conductor!
13. Why did the train conductor refuse to let the passengers off at the next station? He was afraid they’d leave him loco-motively challenged.
14. What do you call a train conductor who’s also a musician? A choo-choo maestro!
15. Why did the train conductor refuse to let the dogs on the train? He didn’t want them to chew-chew on the seats.
16. What do you call a train conductor who’s always telling jokes? A rail-y good comedian!
17. Why did the train conductor refuse to let the passengers use the restroom? He didn’t want them to choo-choo in there!
18. What do you call a train conductor who’s always changing his mind? A switch-er!
19. Why did the train conductor refuse to let the passengers have dessert? He didn’t want them to derail their diet.
20. What do you call a train conductor who’s also a scientist? A train-o-mologist!

FAQs – Train Puns & Jokes

What are some jokes about trains?

Jokes about Trains:

1. What do you get when you cross a train with a bee? A choo-choo-chew!
2. What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a train at a railway station? The man jumps while the train stops!
3. Why did the train go to the gym? To work on its engine!
4. What’s the difference between a train and a teacher? The train says “choo-choo” and the teacher says “you-you.”
5. Why did the train always seem to be running late? Because it was always on track to be on time!
6. What do you call a train that eats too much? A Choo-Choo-Chewer!
7. Why do trains never ask for directions? They always know the way!
8. What do you get when you cross a train with a hamburger? A fast food express!
9. Why did the train get a ticket? For crossing the line!
10. Why do trains like to travel? Because it gives them a chance to CHOO-CHOOse their own adventure!
11. Why did the train break up with his girlfriend? She kept pulling his caboose!
12. What do you call a train that’s running late? A slowpoke express!
13. Why did the train cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
14. Why did the train go to outer space? To visit the Milky Way station!
15. What’s the best way to get a train to run faster? You have to give it a little locomotive!
16. What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo!
17. What do you call a train that eats too much candy? A sugar rush express!
18. What do you get when you cross a train with a car? A traffic jam!
19. Why did the train need a chiropractor? It had a bad case of loco-motion!
20. What do you call a train that’s afraid of the dark? A headlight scaredy-train!

What are some funny train jokes?

Funny Train Jokes:

1. Why did the man put his money on the railway track? He wanted to see his money go down the drain!
2. Why was the train track so tired? It had been running all day!
3. What do you call a train that’s always late? A slow train to nowhere!
4. Why did the train go to the baseball game? It wanted to see a home run!
5. Why do trains make terrible detectives? They always choo-choo the wrong suspect!
6. Why did the train go to the doctor? It had a case of loco-motive!
7. Why did the train conductor carry a broom with him? To sweep people off their feet!
8. Why did the train driver wear a cowboy hat? He wanted to drive the train like the Wild West!
9. What do you get when you cross a train with a dog? A pup-pup-chew-chew!
10. Why was the train afraid of the dark? It had a headlight problem!
11. What do you get when you cross a train with a boat? A ferry-fast express!
12. Why was the train so bad at basketball? It always traveled!
13. What do you call a train that’s afraid to get dirty? A clean machine!
14. Why did the train conductor get in trouble with the law? He was caught hauling caboose!
15. Why did the train go to the dentist? It had a chug-a-chug-a-chew-chew problem!
16. What did one train say to the other train? “You’re on the right track!”
17. Why did the train conductor quit his job? He couldn’t get on board with the company’s new policies!
18. What do you call a train that’s always complaining? A whine-ngine!
19. Why did the train driver break up with his girlfriend? She said he was always “railroading” her!
20. What do you call a train that loves to dance? The Choo-Choo Cha-Cha!

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